


The Forging of a Warden

by D (feministlarxene)



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Angst and Humor, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Dalish Origin, F/M, Minor Character Death, Mostly Canon Compliant, killing darkspawn is a healthy coping mechanism, sass through the roof
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-09
Updated: 2019-01-19
Packaged: 2019-08-21 00:04:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 21,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16565705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/feministlarxene/pseuds/D
Summary: Those who come before us help us pave the way for the path we take in life. The path we forge paves the way to the future, leaving lasting impressions on all we meet.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Whew! This is the start of the first multi-chapter fic I've written in a long time. I hope you enjoy this recounting of my warden's history, from her birth to her battle with the Archdemon. Beta credit for this chapter goes to Aicosu. Thanks Sheila!

Prologue

The trees rustle past as a fleet of aravels make their way into the Brecillian Forest. Fennas sits in the lead with his clan’s elder, the First, and a few other older members of the clan. Paivel is asleep in the back and he takes great care not to disturb the man as he shifts in place, rolling his shoulders to relieve the tension that has built up from being in one position since they had set off to continue their travels earlier that morning.

“Mahariel!”

The man’s attention is pulled quickly from his thoughts. In his lap sits a well-loved wooden staff covered in intricate carvings of the varying scenery they see moving from one camp to the next. He pushes his dark bangs from his face and leans to the front of the aravel where Marethari sits. The woman clicks her tongue at him, shaking her head in amusement. “Keeper Fennas, you must learn to stay grounded,” she chides. “One of these days I am certain that you are just going to float off with your thoughts into the Fade. What a way that would be for me to take over as Keeper.”

He lets out a laugh, setting his staff aside as he moves to sit beside her. “And what a way that would be for  _ me _ to go, my dear worrisome First. Now- what is it that needed my attention so badly that you would take me away from whittling my staff down to nothing?”

Marethari lifts a flap on the front of the aravel and gestures to their surroundings. “We’re coming up on one of the human cities fairly soon. Do you want us to make camp in the Brecillian Forest again? I believe our last camp was not too far from here.”

The genial look on his face changes to a more serious one. As Fennas silently surveys their surroundings, he gestures for the aravel to be brought to a stop and slips out. On nearly silent feet, he disappears into the surrounding woods. Five, ten, fifteen minutes pass as Marethari waits for him to return, her worry only growing the longer he’s gone. The fleet of aravels that had been trailing behind them now sit hidden amongst the trees until their Keeper returns.

And he finally does. 

Nearly an hour later.

“What took you so long!?” Marethari has to struggle to keep her voice down but the anger and concern in her voice is ever present as she chastises him. “You should have been back in half the time it took you! Did you run into humans?”

He shakes his head and places a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “No, but I did want to make sure I checked in all directions that there weren’t any humans camping nearby. We don’t need a repeat of what happened when we were in the Frostbacks. I’ll never understand humans and their propensity for going on death-defying trips. Who would have thought that we would run into anyone that high in the mountains? In the middle of winter, no less!”

She lets out a sigh and leaves the aravel to join him, handing Fennas back his staff. The man is going to drive her to an early grave, she is certain. “And I take it your return means we can settle in to camp?”

“But of course.” A wave of his hand signals to the rest of the caravans to start moving again. He directs the lead aravel to a clearing not too far from where they stop, calling out to his clanmates to take their time getting settled.

Setting up camp is slow going, but with the whole clan pitching in, the task is made a little easier and bearable. By the time night begins to fall, most of the aravels have been converted from travel spaces to living spaces and dinner has been started. Unfortunately, months of travel have shrunk their food supply to the bare basics and whatever leftover salted meat they still had. It will be at least three days until he can send their hunters out to find food, but Fennas is confident in the hunters’ ability to quickly replenish their food stock.

“Perhaps you should stop for the night, Keeper.” The gentle voice of his friend Ashalle cuts into his thoughts, standing over him with a modest plate of food. She holds it out to him, gesturing to a now roaring fire that the clan is gathered around. “Even Marethari is getting ready to finally turn in. You should too.”

He takes the plate from her, tearing a bite out of a sweet roll. “I still need to check our remaining supplies. See if there’s anything we need immediately so I know if I need to go trade with the shemlen or not.”

“The shemlen will still be there in the morning,” she assures him with a laugh. Fennas opens his mouth to protest, but she quickly silences him. “And  _ I  _ will help you to look through everything in the morning to make sure you don’t miss anything. I won’t even insist that you send Marethari to trade with the shemlen in your place this time.”

He huffs out a sigh, defeated, and nods. “Very well. You’re lucky you’re my friend, Ashalle. You know no one else would get away with that.” He wags a finger at her teasingly. She laughs again and waves him off.

“Of course, because you are  _ so _ strict. Finish your dinner and get some sleep, Fennas.”

He retires a little while later, but not before making sure that his clanmates that are on first watch for the night are also well rested enough to stay awake. He fusses over them for at least five minutes each, but when a worn out Marethari insists on him going to one of the aravels to get some sleep he finally gives in and is out as soon as his head hits the pillow.

***

The next morning, Fennas is one of the first to be up and about aside from those who had taken the second night watch. He doesn’t bother trying to wake Ashalle despite her offer to help him look over their remaining supplies. Early mornings like this he prefers to keep to himself and be alone with his thoughts. So much of his day is spent helping his clan with this and that, it can get hard to breathe. Not that he resents being Keeper—he knew responsibility like this came with the territory. And certainly, he has Marethari to help him shoulder the burden, but there are times when he would rather have someone outside of just his First and his friend to share it with.

Ashalle likes to tease that he is too much of a romantic and if he would stop being so stubborn; he could look to his own clan for a partner. Or if he was feeling particularly brave, at the Arlathvhen.

He lets out a sigh, leaning against his staff for a moment. It isn’t that he doesn’t love his clan or the people in it, but he just knows them all already. And while some might argue that would be a great foundation for a budding relationship, he just finds it so...boring. Spending his remaining years with someone he’s known since childhood that he already knows everything about? Why would anyone want that when they could meet someone new and find reasons to care about and love them everyday?

“I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised that you’re up already.”

Marethari’s voice comes from behind him, startling him from his thoughts. “Ah—yes. I was just going over what we might need to get from the shemlen. The city isn’t too far from here. I figured I should be able to get it done quickly.”

“Of course. I can come with you—”

“No, please. I need someone here to look after the clan. I can handle the big, bad shemlen city by myself.”

“Fennas, Denerim is not the safest. You know that. At least take Ashalle with you?”

“I will think on it, but I make no promises. Perhaps, I may even leave without telling anyone!”

She lets out a long suffering sigh, putting her hands up in defeat. “I am only concerned for your safety, Keeper. But I know I cannot make you do anything you don’t want.” She clicks her tongue and gives him a pointed look. “So stubborn.”

“Ah, but you would not have me any other way.” Fennas beams at her, earning a little chuckle in response. “But please, don’t worry so much about me. If I need to, I’ll go take shelter in the alienage. Surely that offers you some assurance as to my safety.”

A look of distaste comes to Marethari’s face for a moment. “It assures me that you will be safe from the shemlen but I cannot say how our city-dwelling brethren will take to you. You know it varies.”

He waves a dismissive hand, slinging his staff across his back. “Nonsense. If anything, it is how  _ we _ take to  _ them _ . I remember seeing at the last Arlathvhen the way some of the other clans treated the elves from the cities that had run away to be with their people. It was awful.”

“Of course, but you must understand that they are not raised the same as we are.”

“Because they do not have the same access to their roots that we do? Marethari,  _ we _ barely have a culture to cling to. I don’t see what’s so wrong with offering that to city elves who want to know where they come from.” He pauses and sees that she wants to protest again, but gives her a stern look. “I don’t want to continue discussing it. I need to finish checking over our supplies.”

“Of course, Keeper.”

Fennas runs a hand through his hair, puffing his cheeks in irritation. He hates arguing— especially about the city elves. But it never fails to come up every time they stop particularly close to a city. And while right now they are still far enough away from Denerim to avoid being mistaken as part of the city’s elven population, he doesn’t see why there must be such a strong demarcation between the Dalish and the city elves.

His grumbling eventually draws Ashalle’s attention as she makes the rounds handing out breakfast to the clan. “Something on your mind?” She offers him a sliced apple, a roll, and a gentle smile. “Marethari looks...perturbed.”

“We were talking about my going to the city.” He purses his lips at the food before taking a slice of the fruit. “I told her I would stay in the alienage if need be and, well…” He made a vague gesture with his hand.

“She’s only worried for your safety, Fennas. You remember what happened the last time we encountered flat ears.”

Fennas bristles a little at the words, his frown deepening. “You know how I feel about that phrase.”

“Ah—I’m sorry—! You know I don’t mean anything. I’m just so used to—”

“And therein lies the problem, doesn’t it? You shouldn’t be used to insulting your own people.”

“Of course. I…” She sighs, shaking her head to herself. “I have no excuse. Just try and be safe. Don’t do anything stupid to draw unnecessary attention from the shemlen.”

He relaxes some and nods. “I will. And let Marethari know I will be leaving soon. I should be back...three days tops? Accounting for travel and any unforeseen circumstances notwithstanding.”

“Very well. Dareth shiral, Keeper.”

“Ma serannas, Ashalle. I’ll see you soon.”

***

Traveling to Denerim is rather uneventful. Fennas reaches the city by early evening and any hope he has of getting anything done vanishes as the shops begin to close with his arrival. As he walks through the city, he makes sure to keep the hood of his traveling cloak up to conceal his ears and hide his vallaslin as much as he is able. Fortunately, no one seems to pay him much attention.

He manages to get a room at the local inn for the next couple of nights and is grateful that the innkeeper doesn’t give a second look to the branch strapped to his back. Before he departs to see if the alienage has any sort of night market, he leaves the staff behind and sets off again.

The town isn’t nearly as crowded as it would be in the middle of the day, but the lights in the tavern and the Pearl indicate where most of the populace has gathered for the evening. Fennas takes his time getting to the alienage, but when he does arrive, the heavy iron gate is firmly closed and closely guarded.

“Eh....excuse me?”

One of the guards’ gaze snaps to him instantly. The man narrows his eyes at him, already suspicious. “What is it?”

“I, ah, was hoping to enter the alienage. Is it...closed or something?” Fennas curses himself silently for sounding so anxious in front of the shemlen. It’s only because he doesn’t understand in the slightest how the alienages work. They vary so much from city to city that it’s hard for the poor elf to keep track.

“No visitors to the alienage after sunset,” the guard says stiffly. “There’s a curfew in place. I suggest you come back in the morning.”

“Wh—! That’s so—!” When the suspicion on the guard’s face increases, he stops himself from verbally tearing into the man. Instead, he just exhales loudly and puts a pleasant smile on his face; not that the guard can likely see it, but the sentiment is still there. “Of course. I’ll be back in the morning.”

He departs reluctantly, returning back to the inn for the night. The next morning, he doesn’t immediately return to the alienage. While he would much prefer to do exactly that, he figures he shouldn’t keep his clan waiting on him too long and heads to the Denerim marketplace to pick up the few things they are still lacking after their travels.

The market, unsurprisingly, is bustling with activity. Even though he doesn’t have the coin for it, he still browses a few of the more expensive stalls, eyes drawn in by the various glittering things they have set out for sale.

“Oi! You’ll pay for that, elf!”

The sound of what must have been a display being knocked over pulls Fennas’ attention away from the stall full of glittering jewelry and toward an angry merchant. No one else seems to pay much attention as he continues to yell at a woman who is apologizing profusely and attempting to help right the display again.

“Look a’ that! You ruined ‘alf my stock!”

“I’m sorry! Really— I didn’t mean—”

Her grip slips on what looks to be a carved wooden mug and  it crashes on the cobblestone street.

“...oh dear."

Before he knows what he’s doing, Fennas has already made his way to the stall to intervene. The shemlen is raising his voice again and the elf woman looks like she just wants the ground to swallow her up.

“Whoa, hey, what’s going on here?” he asks. He glances back to the woman, who has already stooped down to pick up the mug she had dropped. “Is everything alright?”

“That elf there knocked my stall an’ sent ‘alf my stock flyin’!” The man clicks his tongue, glaring around Fennas at the woman. “This is why elves oughta stick to buyin’ from your own shops! Not fit t’ be out amongst civilized people.”

“Well now, that’s a bit uncalled for isn’t it?” Fennas lowers the hood of his cloak some so his distinctly elven features can be in full view. He hears a soft gasp of surprise from behind him as he does so and turns to face the woman. He offers her a little smile and holds a hand out for the mug. “May I?”

She hesitates a moment before nodding in response and hands the mug over to him. “Ma serannas. I’ll take care of this.” He turns the mug over in his hands a few times to inspect it. For all the fuss the man is making, it doesn’t look like too much of his stock is completely ruined. The mug itself only has a few minor scratches, but nothing that theoretically couldn’t be fixed with a skilled hand.

“Ser, I think you’re overreacting a bit.” He sets the mug back on the display and smiles. “I understand your concern for your wares being damaged, but it seems to me that you have done well to ensure they’re extremely sturdy. A less practiced hand would have seen their wood carved objects splintered.”

The man looks surprised at the compliment, blinking a little in confusion. He looks like he wants to be angry at Fennas, but can’t bring himself to say anything. Instead, he grumbles under his breath, snatching his things up from off the ground and inspecting them closely as he does. “What would an elf like you know ‘bout wood carvin’?”

“Quite a bit, I’d like to think!” Fennas replies cheerily. “My people craft many of their own weapons from wood, so I think I would know a bit about what constitutes a practiced hand. You seem to have been working at your craft for years, yes?”

“I...well, yes.” The man puffs his chest out a little, pride evident in his face. “‘Course I have! How else would I be sellin’ out here if I wasn’t good?”

“My point exactly. Now, I’m sure you could  _ easily _ fix the few things that got knocked off your stand. This young lady didn’t mean any harm, I’m sure. It looked like an honest mistake from where I was.”

The merchant frowns, but Fennas’ smile doesn’t waver in the slightest. If he is going to have to deal with shemlen, it will be with unwavering civility.

“...fine,” he says, finally giving in. He turns his attention to the elven woman, eyes narrowing. “But you best watch where yer goin’ next time, elf. Not everyone’s gonna be so forgivin’ as I was ‘bout somethin’ like this.”

The woman nods quickly, her face still flushed with embarrassment. “O—of course. I’ll just—I’ll be on my way.” She looks to Fennas for a moment, about to say something before deciding against it and turning to leave.

Before she can, a gentle hand on her shoulder stops her. “Are you alright, miss? That seemed…” He trails off, unsure how to finish his sentence.

She chuckles softly and nods. “Yes, thank you, um….”

“Fennas.”

“Fennas. Well, I can’t imagine what sort of spectacle that might have turned into if you hadn’t intervened. The shems...they don’t like us very much. I’m sure you know that.”

“Tsk. I certainly do. I’ve been to Orlais before. Not to say that you have it good here but this is a walk in the park compared to what I saw for the short time I was  _ there _ .”

She shudders at the thought. “I don’t even want to think about it.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re alright and that I was able to help, ah...I’m sorry, I don’t think I ever caught your name.”

“Eris.”

“Eris? Well, lovely to meet you. Perhaps I’ll see you again. My clan will be nearby for quite some time. If you ever want to run off into the forest, that’s where I’ll be.” Fennas gives her a little wink and waves, before disappearing back into the crowd of the Denerim marketplace.

  
  



	2. Circumstances of Birth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fennas brings a girl home. Shemlen come. A folk hero is born.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not too much to say about this chapter. I was very excited to write this and finally bring the future Warden Mahariel onto the scene. Beta credit goes to Aicosu again. Hope y'all enjoy this!

Fennas makes excuse after excuse to go back to Denerim after he first meets Eris. She is newest thing in his world since seeing the ocean for the first time. And he loves it. She’s full of life despite being forced to hole up in a place that would see it beaten out of her. The way her green eyes light up when he sits and talks with her about Dalish culture and the places he’s traveled makes his heart swell in a way he’s never felt before.

Ashalle is the first to notice the change in his behavior. He is even more enthusiastic than normal; and while she is used to his particular brand of optimism, this is distinctly different. Things that would usually irritate him slide off like water and the distinct change in his behavior makes her suspicious. He keeps dodging her and her questions until she manages to corner him before another escapade into the city just outside of their clan’s camp.

“Fennas Mahariel, you tell me what is going on with you right now.” Her tone is stern and despite her small stature, she is still quite intimidating.

“Going on with me? Nothing! I just want to go back into Denerim again,” he says pleasantly. “Is there something wrong with that?”

“You have been acting ridiculous since you first came back. Did something happen? You met someone, didn’t you. Is it a shemlen?”

“What? No! I mean, yes, okay, I did meet someone. But she’s not a shemlen.”

“She! Fennas, Marethari is-”

“ _ Marethari _ is not the Keeper, I am. She cannot tell me what to do.”

“But what will the rest of the clan think? There’s a reason we don’t interact with the city elves  _ or _ the shemlen.”

“Ashalle.” He takes her by the shoulders, looking her square in the eye. “We have been over this. And I...I know the clan has all these preconceived notions about the city elves, but she’s not like that. Everyone thinks they’re so violent because they have to do whatever they can just to survive...but tell me that doesn’t sound just like the stories the shemlen tell about the Dalish.”

She sighs heavily, stepping away from him. “I can’t stop you from doing what you will, but at least assure me you know what you’re getting into. Are you after this girl just because she’s something different or do you really care for her?”

“I do. I just...cannot even describe it. When I’m with her it’s nothing like I’ve felt before. I… you are my dearest friend, Ashalle, and I love you very much, but when I see Eris it feels like time stops. Like the Fade could fall open and I could face it so long as she was with me. ...Creators, that sounded silly, didn’t it?”

He looks embarrassed, but Ashalle smiles nonetheless. She pats his cheek affectionately. “Yes, but that’s how I can tell she means something to you.” She nudges him toward the path to the city. “Go. I’m sure she’s wondering where you are.”

***

Eris is hesitant when he first asks her to come with him and join his clan. Sure Fennas is lovely and she adores being with him, but leaving the alienage behind is an intimidating thought.

“I promise I can keep you safe,” he says, placing a hand on her arm. “Aren’t you the one who keeps telling me how much you want to be able to get in touch with your Dalish roots? I can do that for you. But I’m not sure how much longer we’ll be in the area.”

She sighs, leaning against his shoulder. He’s not wrong, but she has been in the alienage for as long as she’s lived. To suddenly say goodbye to all of that is a terrifying thought. But if Fennas has to leave and take his clan elsewhere, who knows when she might see him again?

“Let me think on it. I’ll have an answer for you by tonight, I promise.”

“Of course, vhenan. Whatever you choose- I won’t force you one way or another.”

***

When Fennas does bring Eris back with him, he can feel the judgement of some of the older members of his clan. Hahren Paivel in particular, makes no effort to hide his suspicions of her, but Marethari’s stern eye keeps him from vocalizing it.

In spite of the silent judgement, they still have the support of both Ashalle and Marethari. And Fennas is their Keeper. No matter the choices he makes, they must respect it; including when he makes the choice to bond with Eris.

Marethari is the one to hold the ceremony for them in place of where the Keeper would normally perform the rituals. It’s simple; just the two of them, Marethari and Ashalle. In the short time he’s known Eris, he’s not sure he’s ever seen her as happy as the day of their bonding ceremony. And while he knows she’s happy in their relationship, he doesn’t see her face light up like that until the day she finds out she’s pregnant.

“Pregnant??” Fennas’ deep brown eyes glitter excitedly and he clasps her hands tight. “You’re sure about this?”

Eris laughs and nods, pulling a hand back to place it on her stomach. “You can check as well, but...Marethari was quite thorough. You didn’t tell me she specialized her magic in that sort of thing.”

“Well, not quite. Her specialty is healing, but I suppose that crosses some lines with...detecting life.” He chuckles and draws her in for a tight hug. “Creators, Eris. This is...this is incredible.” He leans back to beam at her for a moment before peppering kisses all over her face.

She giggles and holds him tight. “Isn’t it? I just...Fennas, I’ve never been this happy. I thought I would be living in the alienage my whole life, but you’ve shown me so much in the past few years. I get to be with someone I love and now...start a family.” She pauses, glancing over her shoulder toward the clan’s main encampment. “Do you...do you think they’ll be okay with it? I know some of them are still wary of me because I wasn’t born Dalish.”

“Nonsense. The clan loves you. And they’ll love our daughter. Don’t worry so much, vhenan.”

***

“Eris- Eris, run. RUN!”

She trips over herself, barely managing to see where she’s going through her tears. The humans that had ambushed the clan are too preoccupied with Fennas to pay attention to her as she flees so she allows herself a moment to look over her shoulder and see if he is behind her.

He and a few of the clans hunters are attempting to fight them off. She sees a burst of flame come from the tip of Fennas’ staff followed by a pained yell. She can’t tell who it’s coming from, but she prays that it’s not from him.

Eris yelps suddenly, tripping over a tree root. She holds her arms over her stomach to protect the baby and manages to roll onto her side as she hits the ground. But the action catches the attention of one of the humans. She can see the devilish look on his face from where she is and struggles to get up. She grabs a low hanging branch and manages to pull herself to her feet, only for her grip to slip when a sharp pain shoots up her thigh.

She screams in pain and hits the ground again. An arrow is stuck in her upper leg and she can’t stop staring at it or bring herself to move. She can vaguely hear Fennas’ voice not too far away, but can’t understand it over the roaring in her ears. She touches the spot lightly, surprised when she doesn’t feel anything. There is blood on her fingers when she pulls them away.

Everything seems like it’s moving in slow motion. Eris looks up, head heavy, in time to see Fennas rushing toward her. His mouth is moving in a panic, but she can’t understand what he’s saying. Something about...help? Getting help, maybe? She’s not sure. A dazed smile comes to her face when he gets close and she reaches for him weakly.

And suddenly everything snaps back into real time.

There’s a scream and Fennas’ fingers barely brush hers before he hits the ground. There’s a throwing knife lodged in his back and his eyes are wide with shock. He sputters out a cough, blood dripping from his lips. “Eri...s…”

A violent sob wracks through her and she surges forward to gather him into her arms. “No…! No, no, no, no...Fennas, vhenan, please- not like this!”

Fennas shakes his head and weakly tries to push her away. “Go. Get to safety. Our child is depending on you.”

“ _ I’m _ depending on you,” she sobs.

The humans are getting closer now. Eris knows she has to get up, but she can’t. She can’t just leave him there. There must be something that can be done. She opens her mouth to say more, but a pair of arms have slipped under her and hauled her to her feet. She looks up, tears still in her eyes, at Marethari’s face. The older woman is trying to hold herself together, determined to get the her clan to safety.

“Quickly, da’len. These humans won’t be merciful if they catch up to us.”

“But-!”

“ _ Now. _ ”

She hesitates and looks back down at Fennas. Eris can see the light slowly leaving his eyes. Another sob wracks her body and she nearly crumples to the ground again, but Marethari’s firm grip keeps her on her feet. She nudges her way out of the older woman’s hold and kneels down beside her partner. The person she thought she would be with for the rest of her life.

“Fennas…”

“Vhe...nan…”

Eris can hear the shems nearly to her now. She pulls his body, almost completely limp now, into her arms and holds tight. Marethari’s presence is gone from behind her. She can only assume she’s leading the clan somewhere to hide long enough so that they can lose their attackers. Eris holds him and holds him until at last, Fennas is motionless in her arms. She places one final kiss on his forehead before setting his body down gently. As she does, she lifts the wooden staff from his back, grasping it tightly in her hands. It does her no good when she can’t do magic, but she figures it’s hefty enough to defend herself with.

“Well now, ain’t that sweet.”

The shemlen have surrounded her now. There’s more than she anticipated — it’s a wonder any of the clan’s hunters managed to get away.

“You elves are a plague on the Maker’s land. We oughta just burn that body of his.”   


They snicker and jeer and Eris grips the staff even tighter.

“Don’t you dare touch him.”

The pain from the arrow in her leg throbs hard, making her wince. But she tries not to let it show. She can feel the blood seeping through her leathers and dampening her feet, but she refuses to let them desecrate his body.

“And what’s a little thing like you gonna do about it, eh?”

One of them lunges for her and she swings the staff in an arc around her with a strength she had nearly forgotten she had. It slams into the man’s side and sends him flying back a good five feet with a loud  _ crack _ . She relishes in the sound, whirling to clock the next one approaching her in the side of the head. That one collapses instantly in a heap. There’s a wild look in her eyes, reflecting the savage elf that the humans are so fond of gossiping about.

Eris snarls and rushes at another one, jabbing the staff forward. They’re starting to back up now, horrified looks on their faces. No doubt they’ll be spreading rumors about the violent Dalish clan running about the woods.

“You stay away from him!” she roars.

The sheer volume of her voice is enough to finally send them scattering back the way they came. She tries to run after them, but the adrenaline wears off and the arrow in her thigh finally becomes too much to bear. She sways on her feet and collapses beside Fennas’ body. Perhaps this is for the best. She smiles tiredly and reaches for his hand, barely able to grasp it as she blacks out.

_ Soon, my love. Soon. _

***

Eris is in tears from pain. She grips Ashalle’s hand tightly and screams again. Another push feels like it does nothing.

“Breathe, lethallan, breathe!”

Ashalle’s worried face swims in and out of view as she nods, dazed from her ordeal. The baby had to decide to come now, in the middle of the night, and wake up just about the entire clan. She grits her teeth, trying to force herself to breathe more normally, but the pain is almost too intense. Marethari’s and Ashalles words start blending together and she wishes she could just black out to escape it.

And then suddenly it’s over.

Eris can hear the joy in Marethari’s voice as she begins to clean her baby off and wrap it in a blanket. She struggles to open her eyes and smiles weakly. The pain has dulled to a weak throb now and she can manage to sit herself up with Ashalle’s help and the small pile of blankets and pillows behind her back. Eris holds shaky arms out when Marethari returns.

“Have you decided on a name for her, lethallan?” Marethari asks gently as she hands the baby over.

Eris nods slowly, holding her close. Dark hair like both of her parents. Eyes the color of fertile soil like her father. A soft brown complexion lighter than Fennas’ had been but still a few shades darker than Eris.

“Nyx. Because she decided to come to me in the middle of the night.”

Marethari laughs softly at that and nods in approval. “It sounds fitting. Your daughter looks lovely. And perfectly healthy as well. Even if she was a bit of a fighter.”

“A fighter is an understatement,” she murmurs. Eris looks to the baby in her arms, now fast asleep. “Not that you could tell now. Look how at peace she is.”

“Come, lethallan. Let’s get you and the baby to bed. It’s been a long night.” Ashalle helps her to her feet, guiding her to an empty aravel that she can have to herself while she recovers from labor.

Eris smiles and bids Ashalle and Marethari goodnight a short while later and secures the cloth flap of the aravel shut. She lays with Nyx in her arms, petting her baby’s hair slowly. Tears start to come again, but not from pain this time.

She looks to the side where Fennas’ staff rests in the a corner and places a hand over her mouth to stifle a sob. He should have been here for this. To see the birth of their child. But no. Humans,  _ shemlen _ , with their preconceived notions about elves and what they did cut his life short. Just the thought about what had been done to him is enough to bring her to anguished tears again.

Eris has to turn away from her baby to keep from grabbing on and holding too tight. As much as she is glad to have brought their child into the world, Nyx looks just too much like her father. Even now, just hours after her birth, she can hardly look at her daughter’s face. The longer she looks, the more similarities she sees to Fennas.

***

Ashalle is the first to go check on Eris and her baby the next day. She knocks gently on one of the wooden wheels of the aravel to attempt to wake her. “Eris? Lethallan, breakfast is starting,” she says gently. “Marethari is preparing some rolls. Would you like one?”

She waits for a minute. Two. Three.

She frowns when there’s no answer and knocks against the wood of the aravel once more. “Eris? Are you awake?”

Ashalle fiddles the ties keeping the flaps of the aravel shut and pulls them loose. From the sound of it, Nyx has just woken up and begun crying loudly. It’s incredible that Eris hasn’t stirred yet from the noise. “Lethallan? Are you — ?”

She lets out a gasp, clapping a hand over her mouth. She clambers into the aravel quickly and gathers Nyx into her arms, hushing her and rocking her gently. “It’s alright, da’len. You’re safe. Hush now — ”

With one arm holding the child to her chest, she reaches for a scrap of paper left behind with the other. She can’t read the common tongue very well, but she knows enough to understand what Eris has written.

_ My dearest nyx- i know you will be safe with your clan. i am not fit to be your mother. forgive me. _

  
  



	3. Slipping Through My Fingers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nyx grows up. Ashalle tries to keep her in childhood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay we finally get to more of the main story! I was honestly very excited to finally get to write Nyx and Tamlen- they're my fave to write. At least till we get to Zevran. Beta credit to Aicosu again! Huge thanks to Sheila for helping me work through a few crappy patches I had in this chapter that have been cleaned up. Now on with the show!

Nyx’s first year is difficult to say the least. Ashalle unintentionally winds up as the child’s guardian, but she doesn’t complain. She understands that Marethari is far too busy now that she must come into her own as Keeper. And since Nyx has yet to show any signs of being a mage, there is no reason for her to show the child any special attention.

“Hush now, da’len. I’m here.”

Ashalle rocks the baby gently in her arms, doing her best to soothe her. It’s yet another long night of Nyx not being able to sleep. She wonders if it’s because her mother left her behind in the middle of the night. Ironic then that she should be named for the time.

When Nyx still refuses to calm down, she takes the child further from camp so as not to keep the rest of the clan awake. It certainly wouldn’t do when several of the other families have also recently had their own children that don’t go down to rest without a fight. Normally Ashalle would be able to brush off Nyx’s behavior as that of a barely year-old child, but when she compares her to the other children the differences are stark. Where the Sabrae child will eat something after a few tries, Nyx will refuse anything and then cry ten minutes later out of hunger. Fenarel’s parents can get him to sleep after a few minutes of rocking; Nyx will scream and cry until she has worn herself out enough to fall asleep on her own.

The latter is what Ashalle is currently dealing with, but she hopes that the girl will wear herself out soon. Her cries have become a bit quieter and her screaming has died down. She leans her head toward Nyx and kisses her temple gently, a tired smile on her face. “There now. Are we ready to sleep?”

Nyx responds with a tiny yawn and something akin to a grumble, settling in Ashalle’s arms at last. She lets out a sigh of relief and pulls a loose bit of blanket over the top of the baby’s head, shielding her eyes from the low light of the fire. She nods to the pair of hunters keeping watch as she retires to her aravel for the night. As she dozes off with Nyx by her side, she absently hopes that Nyx will grow into a much calmer young woman when she’s older.

***

Every time Nyx reaches another milestone in her childhood, Ashalle records it in a journal. She wishes Fennas and Eris could both be present to see their child grow up, but she supposes this is the second best thing. Perhaps one day they’ll be able to find Eris. Though most of the clan does not hold out much hope for finding the woman, she is almost certain that Nyx’s mother  _ must _ be alive somewhere. Maybe she returned to the Denerim alienage. Or found another clan. It is still several years until the next Arlathvhen, but she hopes that maybe she’ll see Eris among the many faces that gather.

“Ashalle! Ashalle!”

The woman is pulled from her thoughts as Nyx races toward her, nearly tripping over roots several times as she does, hands clasped tightly around...something.

Oh dear.

“What is it, da’len? Have you found something?”

Nyx grins widely and opens her hands, revealing a panicked lizard that skitters off as soon as it sees light. “Wait, come back!” Before Ashalle can say anything to stop her, the girl is off again to chase after her new ‘pet’.

She sighs heavily, shaking her head with a smile. She looks to Tamlen’s parents, who are keeping a close eye on him while he plays in the dirt, a little jealous that they seem to be blessed with such a well behaved child. But that thought only lasts a short while, as Nyx scampers into his play area, apparently still chasing the lizard.

The girl doesn’t even seem to notice when she steps squarely on Tamlen’s hand in her pursuit. Nor does she hear the pained yell that follows it.

His parents are immediately over to comfort him with gentle words and Ashalle runs quickly after Nyx. She manages to catch up with her fairly quickly and scoops her up by her waist. Nyx immediately begins protesting, saying she will lose the thing she wanted to show to her, but Ashalle silences her with a stern glare.

“Nyx, I want you to apologize to Tamlen right now.”

“I dinnit do anythin!” She pouts, turning away from the boy as she is set down in front of him. “‘S’ not  _ my _ fault he was in the way.”

Tamlen puffs his cheeks a little but doesn’t respond. He rubs the back of his hand some and moves to hide further behind his mother’s legs.

“But you still hurt him, da’len. It doesn’t matter if it was on purpose or not. Now, say sorry to him.”

Nyx sighs loudly. But looking at the other boy and seeing the slight red mark on the back of his hand seems to soften her enough to apologize. “...ir abelas,” she mumbles. “I dinnit see you.”

Ashalle pats her shoulder in approval and Tamlen offers a little smile. “It’s okay. I forgive you.”

“Can I go play again now, Ashalle?”

“Yes, da’len. Just make sure not to step on anyone again.”

“Okay!”

***

Ashalle watches in exasperation as Nyx and Tamlen fight with each other over a wooden toy they had found during their travels through the mountains. The clan is on their way back to the Frostbacks for a short period and one of the little ones (the details were fuzzy at this point) had found a wooden toy on the ground that had been left behind by some previous traveler. Now the two of them are at each other’s throats trying to decide who gets to keep the thing.

“I got to it first!”

Nyx’s shrill voice cuts through the cold air and makes Ashalle pinch the bridge of her nose.

“Yeah, but  _ I _ saw it on the ground so you could take it!”

Tamlen, for all his usually even tempered-ness, has a tight grip on one end of the toy and pulls it toward himself. Nyx stumbles forward with the motion and nearly loses her grip on the other end. She bares her teeth at him and growls in annoyance.

“But I still got it first!”

“Tamlen.” His mother’s voice draws his attention enough for Nyx to pull the toy free from his grip. She shouts in triumph, sticking her tongue out and waving the toy in his face. 

“Why don’t you try sharing it with her, hm? Let Nyx have it today, and then she can let you play with it tomorrow.”

“But, mamae-!”

“No buts, da’len. What do you think about that, Nyx?”

Ashalle is already on her way over, knowing exactly how Nyx is going to respond to the proposition of sharing anything.

“No!”

Before the other woman can say anything, Ashalle plucks the toy out of the girl’s hands. The action earns a cry of protest from both children. “If  _ both _ of you can’t agree to share, then no one is going to get the toy,” she says firmly.

Both Nyx and Tamlen protest louder, whining about it being unfair. “She’s the only one that doesn’t want to share!” Tamlen says, crossing his arms.

“Yeah, cause I got it first!” Nyx stands on the tips of her toes, trying to get the toy from Ashalle.

“You either both agree to share, or I am going to sell it to the next shemlen we come across.”

That silences any further protests Nyx may have had as she grumbles out a “Fine…” and slumps in defeat. Ashalle smiles and hands it back to her.

“There. Now, you can have it today, and Tamlen can have it tomorrow. Are we clear?”

“Yes…”

She nods and motions for Nyx to go off and play again. Beside her, Tamlen’s mother lets out a soft chuckle.

“It’s a miracle that you’ve managed to reign that girl in at all. She seems like she’s such a handful.”

“Yes, well, I should have expected as much. She  _ is _ Fennas’ child, after all. At least you don’t have to fight so much with Tamlen to behave.”

She barks out a short laugh. “That’s what you think! He knows to behave in front of the clan. But when it’s just us…” She shakes her head. “That boy can be a little demon. I hate to think of the mischief he and Nyx would get up to if the two of them stopped fighting long enough to be friends.”

Ashalle’s eyes widen and she shakes her head quickly. “Don’t say that—I can barely handle Nyx as it is! The last thing she needs is a friend encouraging her bad ideas.”

***

Nyx, for all her boisterousness, begins to mellow out sooner than Ashalle anticipates. Not that she’s ungrateful for it—quite the opposite, actually. By the time she has turned ten, Nyx no longer has the boundless energy that just goes wherever she wishes. She has managed to channel it into shadowing the clan’s hunters, already showing that she shares her father’s affinity for wanting to help any way she can.

Ashalle is a little hesitant to let her. She’d much rather Nyx stay close and safe, but she knows by now that she can only control the girl so much. She just wishes she wouldn’t find Nyx constantly trying to pick every herb she came across in an attempt to learn how to make her own poisons.

When Tamlen begins his own training to become a hunter, Nyx’s determination only increases. First she wants to shadow the hunters. Then she wants to join Tamlen in his training. And  _ then _ she wants her own daggers. With each request, Ashalle tries to explain the danger that can come with being a hunter and each time Nyx threatens to throw a fit that could rival an unruly toddler. 

Each time, Ashalle eventually relents to the stubborn girl’s requests. She watches with reluctant fondness as both Nyx’s talent blooms, and as she begins to spend time with Tamlen in training, her friendship with him. Their friendship has been slow to develop, but it’s certainly a far cry from the way they used to fight over everything when they were younger.

Finally, when she turns twelve, Ashalle gifts her a pair of training daggers. For all her reluctance and concern for Nyx’s safety, she wouldn’t trade the way Nyx’s deep brown eyes light up the second she pulls the wrapping off her gift for anything. Nyx squeals excitedly and squeezes Ashalle in a tight hug and thanks her before running off to show her new present to Tamlen.

“Ashalle finally got me a pair of daggers! Let’s spar!”

Tamlen looks up in surprise, tilting his head some as he inspects the wooden blades held in front of him. “Spar? Nyx, you  _ just _ got those. You haven’t even practiced with them yet! Also, in case you forgot, I hunt with a sword. And a bow.”

“Aw, c’mon! You’re just scared I’ll beat you.” She grins and prods him with the tip of one. “Just real quick. I promise I’ll try not to embarrass you in front of everyone.”

He has to hold back a smile, huffing out a laugh. “Give me a second to go grab my practice sword. I’ll show you how it’s  _ really _ done.”

Tamlen returns a short while later with a wooden sword of similar make. Nyx grins excitedly and gestures for him to follow her away from the clan’s camp so they don’t get in trouble for trying to fight in front of everyone. She stops in a small clearing not too far off; Nyx can tell Ashalle is trying to keep her within eyeshot so she makes sure to stay within her field of vision.

She holds her daggers at the ready, crouching some. Tamlen assumes a similar position, blue eyes already tracking her movements. He nods to her, gesturing a bit with his sword.

“Whenever you’re ready.”

***

Nyx lets out a frustrated groan as the arrow falls uselessly to one side  _ again _ as she attempts to draw her bow. Every other hunter makes it look so easy, and yet here she is, barely able to nock it properly. She relaxes her hold and closes her eyes for a moment, trying to focus. She just has to concentrate. Fenarel and Tamlen have both shown her at least once—now she just has to  _ get it _ .

She opens her eyes, lips pursed in determination and draws the bow again and…

The arrow falls to the side and slips from her fingers.

“UGH!”

She scrubs at her eyes, trying to quickly get rid of the angry tears that have come. Tamlen is going to be joining her soon and the last thing she wants is for him to see how poorly she’s doing. She throws the weapon down in irritation, abandoning it to the ground and draws a small throwing knife from her pocket instead.

_ Ssssshhhhhhchk _

The knife sticks firmly in the tree where she’s thrown it.  _ This _ is a weapon she can aim—why can’t she do the same with a bow and arrow? Wasn’t it basically the same concept?

_ chk chk chk _

She throws the  knife at the same mark over and over until the tree starts to bleed out translucent yellow sap. She’s so absorbed in her task that she doesn’t even pick up Tamlen’s soft footsteps coming up behind her.

“Keep that up and your dagger is gonna go right through that tree.”

Nyx jolts a little in surprise. She glances toward him and puts on a little smile before approaching the tree and yanking the knife free. “Will not. It’s tiny. Barely made the tree bleed as it is.”

“Sure, sure. I see you gave up on the archery practice before I could even get here, hm?” Tamlen bends down, picking her bow up from the ground and handing it off to her. “C’mon. Let me help you.”

She sighs and takes the bow reluctantly, grimacing at it. One would think she would have some innate ability to know how to use a bow, but she just can’t seem to get the hang of it. As she picks an arrow up from the ground to draw her bow, he is immediately shaking his head and going to correct her.

“Alright, first things first. You need to get your posture down.” Tamlen approaches her from behind, placing a hand on her bow arm. “Now relax your arm. You’re pulling the string too tight.”

Nyx flushes a little in embarrassment but nods and tries to do as she’s instructed. As she relaxes her arm, he moves his hand to her elbow to even out the angle.

“Good. When you’re trying to aim, you don’t want to have your elbow up to your ear or you’re going to miss every time. So we keep it level. Now. Put it down and show me your posture without the bow and arrow.”

“Oh come on, Tamlen. Just show me how to shoot something properly!” she protests, lips pursing into a little pout. “I’m not gonna become a hunter by doing all this posturing.”

He opens his mouth to counter, but thinks better of it. Instead, he holds his hands up and steps away. “Whatever you want then, lethallan. Aim for the tree and hit it where your throwing knife was.”

A smug smile curls her lips as she nocks her bow. Nyx shuts an eye as she aims the tip of the arrow at the tree. She takes a slow breath. Draws her bow purposefully. Then looses the arrow.

The bowstring snaps against her cheek and the arrow flies about five feet in front of her before sticking in the ground. Behind her, she can hear Tamlen stifling a laugh. Frustrated tears prick her eyes as she throws her bow to the ground.

“Fenedhis!”

“Whoa, whoa, language!”

Tamlen quickly stops laughing when he realizes just how upset she is. She jerks away when he approaches, but it doesn’t stop him. He places a comforting hand on her shoulder and smiles. “Hey, it’s okay. I didn’t get it for a while either.  _ And _ I had my dad helping me. We’ll try again, okay?”

Nyx shrugs away from him and slumps onto the ground, looking at the useless bow. “Forget it, Tam. They’re not gonna let me be a hunter if I can’t even use a bow. What hunter do you know that hunts with just a throwing knife or some daggers?”

She looks down at her hands and curls them into tight fists. She presses them to her eyes, trying to hide her face from him. She hates that she’s falling apart in front of  _ him _ of all people. Not because she’s afraid of what he may say to their peers and the other hunters, but because he’s her friend.

Tamlen may be rambunctious in his own right, but Nyx likes to think she’s at least the stronger of them. Emotionally, at least. She had already lost so much before she had even been born; she’s well aware of how that has hardened her. She feels ridiculous that not being able to use a bow should turn her into such a mess.

Her ears twitch some at the sound of the grass rustling nearby. Looking up, Tamlen has settled beside her with a sympathetic smile on his face. He gently moves her hands from her face, holding them in his. “Hey. It’s okay, I promise,” he says softly. “We can try again, okay? One step at a time. But...why don’t we just take a break for now?”

A short ways from where Nyx and Tamlen sit, Ashalle stands at the edge of the camp. She keeps a close eye on them, a small smile playing at her lips. It feels as if it was only a week ago that she was trying to soothe a days old baby after being left behind by her mother. And now, though she cannot hope for Nyx to become First, she is certain that Nyx will be able to make a name for herself.

She only hopes that her Mahariel will not grow up too quickly.


	4. Through Rose Colored Glasses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The young ones experience their first Arlathvhen. Nyx gets angry. Tamlen gets jealous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little bit longer than the last few, so apologies in advanced for that! This is also the last of the ones that I had ready to go, so if ch 4 isn't up in a timely manner, that's why. Beta cred once again to Aicosu/Sheila who is an angel that keeps me from using the same word 3 times in 1 paragraph. Enjoy!

The first Arlathvhen that Nyx experiences is when she turns fifteen. She’s well aware that she had been to one a decade before, but all she can recall now is playing with the children from the other clans while Ashalle kept a close eye on her. Now, she gets to actually participate. Not that she’s sure there will be much she can do—she’s not a mage and she doesn’t know enough of their clans stories to pass them around. Her lips twist into a frown as the aravel continues to bump along the forest road toward the gathering. She didn’t think she would feel so useless.

“What’s on your mind, lethallan?”

Tamlen prods her lightly, blue eyes searching her face for some indicator of what’s causing her to look so anxious. She merely shrugs in response, looking down at the bow clutched tightly in her lap. “Nothing, I guess. I just don’t really know what to expect, you know? Like…”

“Like...you aren’t gonna be able to do anything useful?”

“Yeah, pretty much.”

They fall into silence for a few moments. Tamlen looks like he wants to say something, but can’t seem to find the words. Instead, he resorts to trying to comfort her without them. He places a sympathetic hand over hers and offers a smile which she easily returns. Nyx turns her palm up, giving his hand a squeeze. “At least you know how to take all of this in stride,” she murmurs. “I probably sound like I’m just being selfish, huh?”

Tamlen shakes his head. “Not at all! But, I guess I just sort of expected not to do anything while we were at Arlathvhen. I’m still not quite a full fledged hunter, so I don’t think they’re going to have me go along with everyone to get food. I’m not a mage, so I don’t get to go to any of those gatherings…” He pauses in counting everything he can’t do off his fingers. “Oh, and I’m not super old, so I obviously I won’t be going to the Hahren’al.”

“So what are  _ we _ supposed to do?” Nyx purses her lips. She pulls a small knife from her bag and starts poking absently at the wood of her bow. “Ashalle better not put us on babysitting duty, or something for the other clans. Maybe we’ll just be allowed to do whatever we want.”

“Yeah, with the Keeper twenty feet away watching us to make sure we don’t do anything to give a bad impression to other clans.”

His words provide Nyx with a much needed comfort the rest of the ride to where the Arlathvhen is set to take place in Orlais. When they finally arrive, Ashalle stops them before she and Tamlen can run off and shirk their obligation to help set up the temporary camp. Nyx is  _ almost  _ tempted to just do a bad job of helping set up so her guardian will do it for her, but she thinks better of it. Ashalle may usually be fairly forgiving, but she has a hunch she probably shouldn’t press her luck when it won’t be just her own clan exposed to her antics.

“No, no—you’re going to rip the canvas if you keep pulling like that.”

Nyx shakes her head a little at Tamlen, ushering him away from the tent he has been struggling with. He watches her fuss for a few moments before it’s properly pitched without any stakes unintentionally going through the fabric. He smiles apologetically at her. “You know me, lethallan. Useless with everything but a bow and a sword.”

She gives him an unimpressed look, but he’s well aware that there’s a smile hiding just under it. “What would you do if I wasn’t here to help, hm?”

“Ask Ashalle to help me instead?”

She puts her face in her hand, but Tamlen can see her shoulders shake as Nyx tries to hold in a laugh. “Oh, just get over here and help me with this last one.”

The pair of them finish helping set up the tents a short while later. As soon as they’re dismissed, they quickly disappear into the woods to take a walk. The silence is thick between them as they walk—not uncomfortable, but definitely opposite to their usual easy chatter. 

Nyx glances over to him after a moment and catches him just as he looks away from her. She lets out a soft chuckle and nudges him with lightly with her shoulder. “Something on your mind?”

“Ah—no, no. Just...enjoying the change in scenery, I suppose.” Tamlen smiles nervously and looks down at his feet. “When’s the last time we were even in Orlais, huh?”

She nods and lapses back into silence again. It’s more comfortable this time; they walk close to each other, pinkies linking and unlinking as they explore the surrounding forest. Their conversation ebbs and flows as usual and once in a while, Tamlen insists they stop and hunt for some of the more exotic larvae that live in the area so they have something to snack on as they wander.

Eventually they make their way back to the camp a little before sundown. A few yards away, all around them, more clans have begun to set up for the Arlathvhen. By the time they return, the pair of them have a few inches between them, but Nyx does not miss the knowing smile on Ashalle’s face.

“Did the two of you have a nice walk?” she asks innocently.

Nyx huffs and turns her face away in attempt to hide the flush creeping up her cheeks. “Yeah. We walked and snacked on some grubs. Nothing too exciting.”

“Mm. Well why don’t you go make sure the halla have water for the night, da’len? Tamlen—you should go rest soon. They want all the hunters ready for tomorrow.”

Tamlen blinks a little in surprise. “Wh—me? I’m not even officially a hunter, yet!” He lets out a nervous laugh. “You’re sure they want everyone?”

Ashalle nods. “Yes, da’len. They want to be prepared for when the rest of the clans come. Not everyone has such skilled hunters as we do. And it’ll be a learning experience for you.”

Nyx bids him goodnight, knowing she likely won’t be seeing him again until at least the next day. As soon as Tamlen heads off to his own tent, she makes her way to where all the clans’ halla are penned for the event to check the makeshift water troughs.

“Nyx?”

She looks up at the sound of her name and lets out an excited gasp when she sees who it’s come from.

“Melana!”

She rushes up to the girl and throws her arms around her, hugging her tightly. “It’s been so long, lethallan! I can’t barely remember the last time we saw each other.”

Melana grins as she pulls away from the hug, hands on her cousin’s shoulders. “I know. And you finally get to meet Selva this time too! She wasn’t even born yet last we saw each other.”

The girls gush and talk as they tend to the halla. As the sun slowly sinks lower and lower on the horizon, the pair begin to walk back to the main camp. “So, was that Tamlen I saw you walking back with earlier?” Melana asks casually, a sly smirk playing at her lips.

Nyx huffs a little. “So what if it was? You’ve met him. I’ve been friends with him for ages. What do you care?”

“Oh, I  _ saw _ the way you were looking at him, lethallan. You can’t fool me!” Melana’s eyes, almost black under the evening sky, glitter in amusement. “And I saw the way Ashalle was watching you two as well. What’s going on, hm?”

“Nothing at all is going on!” Nyx insists, smacking her arm gently. “Besides, it’s not like either of us have earned our vallaslin yet. I shouldn’t even be thinking about that sort of thing. I need to focus on honing my skills as a hunter.”

“Mhmm. Whatever you say. Have you learned to shoot a bow yet, by the way?”

Their raucous chatter alerts Ashalle to the girls’ return. She approaches them, placing a hand on Nyx’s shoulder. “Come, da’len. You need to eat before you go to bed. And Melana, I think your father was asking after you. You had best return to your clan’s camp.”

“Ah—yes, of course.” Melana bows her head, giving the older woman a polite smile. “Goodnight. Don’t get into too much trouble without me, Nyx.” She winks at her friend before giving them both a wave and returning to her clan’s camp.

***

The Arlathvhen is in full swing the next day. Many of the clans that could make it had arrived and set up during the night. When Nyx finally drags herself up, she checks in with both Ashalle and Marethari before going on her way.

There isn’t much that she can do; Tamlen has already left with the hunters along with Fenarel and a few others. Melana is looking after her younger cousin and while she would normally be happy to help her friend out, the alone time is good for her. So she flits aimlessly around the camp, greeting the few people she does know until she spots Marethari talking with what appears to be the Keeper of another clan.

Curious, Nyx silently climbs and perches in a tree nearby. There’s a girl with the two Keepers as well. She can’t be much older than Nyx, but she looks like she’d rather be anywhere but where she is right now. Nyx shifts a bit in the tree and strains her ears to listen in on the conversation. She’s heard of clans ‘exchanging’ members before and the intricately carved branch attached to the other girl’s back is a dead giveaway that she must be a mage.

“...sure you’re alright with giving us your Second? I wouldn’t want your clan to be unprepared for an emergency.”

“Please, Marethari. Your clan needs a First. And our Merrill is very talented. I think she would do well under your tutelage.”

Nyx bristles a little at what she hears. They shouldn’t  _ need _ a First. She’s aware that her father had been Keeper before he passed—and if she had been born a mage she would have taken the place as Marethari’s First ages ago. But instead she’s stuck with being just another hunter. Not that she doesn’t enjoy it—it’s nice to have the freedom to go out into the forest and explore whenever she likes—but she can’t help but wonder if she might be a little less disappointed in herself if she was able to take up her late father’s mantle.

“...shame that his daughter wasn’t born a mage, really. I had such hopes...but she’s still quite an incredible huntress, I suppose.”

“Don’t you worry yourself with that so much. As I said, Merrill is very talented and has a wealth of potential. I’m sure you can help her flourish.”

“You’re too kind. Perhaps I can send Nyx to your clan instead? I’ve yet to make a decision on which hunter would be a good fit for you. She’s quite skilled, but I’m sure she can learn much more.”

“Well I would hate to take her from her father’s clan. Take some time to think on it, Marethari. We still have the rest of the Arlathvhen for you to make a decision.”

Nyx clenches her jaw and quickly shimmies back down the tree. She doesn’t want to hear anymore about how good a fit this new mage is going to be as First or how she might be getting kicked from her own clan. She grumbles under her breath as she makes her way back to the main encampment and winds up staying with Maren to help tending to the halla until their hunters return.

When they do, she finds and pulls Tamlen from the bunch before he even has a chance to realize what’s happening. He opens his mouth to say something, but the look on Nyx’s face tells him that now isn’t the time for him to make some silly gibe that she might take the wrong way.

“Something the matter, lethallan?”

Nyx releases his arm once they have some distance between them and the rest of the clan. The upset look on her face melts away after a few moments and she just groans, hiding her face in his chest and holding tight to the sides of his tunic. Tamlen remains silent and pats her shoulder gently as he guides her to sit down with him. Once they’re seated, she finally looks up at him and speaks.

“The Keeper finally found a First.” The look of confusion on his face must be evident because it earns him an eye roll from her. “ _ I _ could have been First, you know. Ashalle may not want to tell me anything about my parents, but I do at least know that my father was the Keeper before.”

“Ah—r-right...but what does that got to do with you?” he asks. “You’re not a mage, so it doesn’t really matter, does it?”

She throws her hands up, turning away from him. “That’s the  _ point, _ Tamlen! I could have been born a mage because my father was a mage and I could have learned everything he knew from Marethari. But instead I’m just another hunter because the clan doesn’t know where else to put me!”

“But...I thought you liked being a hunter…”

“I  _ do _ . But how can I do anything to preserve the little bit I know about my family, as a  _ hunter _ ? I just. Ugh. Nevermind. You wouldn’t understand.”

Tamlen presses his lips together, eyebrows furrowing. He wants to say something to help, but Nyx seems almost inconsolable. She may not be crying or anything, but she’s still clearly upset and feeling replaced—however ridiculous the thought might be. He stays quiet for a few minutes, letting her temper simmer back down. When she speaks up again it’s much quieter. “I overheard Marethari say she might send me to the other clan.”

His eyes widen in surprise at that. “What? Why? I thought one of the other hunters was supposed to be going when she found someone to be First?”

“I don’t know! Maybe it’s because she thinks I’m not good enough to stay here. She said something about me learning from their hunters. Creators, I’m a disgrace to my own name. My parents are probably rolling over in their graves”

Nyx flops against him and hides her face in his chest again. He wraps an arm around her and rubs her shoulder gently to comfort her. He wishes he knew what to say to bring a smile back to her face, but Tamlen can’t exactly blame her for being upset.  _ He _ would have been just as upset if he heard he was possibly leaving the clan. But it’s the last thing she’s said that has him worried for her.

“Nyx...why do you think your parents  _ wouldn’t _ be proud of you?”

She looks a little surprised by the question. Nyx is silent for a moment as she mulls it over before replying, “I can’t think of a reason why they would be. That’s the problem.” She closes her eyes and lets out a long sigh. “I have no magical skill, I’m a mediocre hunter...I can’t even make up a decent potion or poison. All I do with elfroot is...use it for...non-medicinal purposes.”

Tamlen is quiet for a beat before barking out a laugh. “Yeah. You and the rest of the younger members of the clan! Relax. Maybe you just haven’t found your calling yet. Just watch—you’re gonna be amazing one day.”

***

“I’m so jealous!”

“Does it still hurt?”

“Hah! Your face is still all red—”

The first person in Nyx’s small group of friends to get their vallaslin is Fenarel a few months after he turns 16. He’s proven to be an incredible hunter and as the first to get a large kill on his own, it’s no surprise that Marethari had decided he had earned the opportunity to get his vallaslin. Now, face red from the irritation and the markings of June spread over his face, he is the first of them to officially be branded an adult.

“So does that mean you’re gonna go play with the rest of the adults now and leave us behind?” Nyx asks, a smirk on her face. “I mean, gotta start acting like a real contributing member of the clan now, right?”

He snorts in amusement and winks at her. “Don’t worry, lethallan. I won’t leave  _ all _ of you behind now. I think I can make a couple of exceptions.”

Tamlen stifles a scoff at his comment. He doesn’t miss the way Nyx is eyeing Fenarel now that he has vallaslin. But he’s not about to confront her about it. If she would prefer to go after someone more ‘adult’ then he has no right to stop her. But it doesn’t stop the little twinge of jealousy.

The small crowd of them gathered around Fenarel to ask about his vallaslin eventually draws the attention of their clans new First. Nyx watches with a barely concealed look of distaste as Merrill approaches them, a nervous smile on her face. She has already been with the clan for a few months, but Nyx has not warmed up to her in the slightest. She is just a few years older and had already earned her vallaslin with her old clan; a clear sign that she is supposedly more mature than Nyx. It makes her bristle.

“Something you need, Merrill?” she asks, tone clipped.

“Oh—I was just wondering what you were all gathered up for.” Merrills fidgets a little, bowing a bit under Nyx’s steady gaze. “Um, congratulations, by the way, Fenarel.”

“Mm. Ma serannas, I guess.” Fenarel’s gaze flickers between the two girls and shifts his weight to lean more toward Nyx. “Didn’t think I’d get through it without making any noise.”

“Me either! Oh, it was absolutely dreadful when I found out I was to get mine. The  _ waiting _ ! And the moment before the Keeper st—”

“Sorry, did you actually need something, Merrill?” Nyx cuts her off, lips pursed and gaze going from mild distaste to cold judgement. “You know some of us were in the middle of a conversation, right?”

“Oh—goodness. I. Yes, of course. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to intrude.” Merrill makes to walk away, but stops and quickly turns back around. “Oh—yes. Um—Fenarel, the other hunters wanted to have a celebration. I was supposed to tell you that. I, ah, I’ll be going now.”

Nyx scoffs derisively as the other girl hurries away. “Tch. I can’t believe she’s supposed to be our new First. The girl is afraid of her own shadow.”

Tamlen opens his mouth to comment, but Fenarel beats him to it. “Aw, give her a chance, lethallan. She’s still warming up to the clan. Not that she can do it if you’re trying to ice her out all the time.” He chuckles and nudges her gently in the side, bringing a smile to Nyx’s lips.

The interaction makes Tamlen stiffen.

“We’ll see if she earns her place,” she says simply.

“Really? After everything you told me before, you’re going to say  _ that  _ like you’re actually going to give her a chance?”

The words leave Tamlen’s mouth before he realizes what he’s said. His face turns beet red and he quickly slaps a hand over his mouth. Nyx glowers at him. She had told him how she’d felt about Merrill joining the clan in confidence. What right did he have to just...blurt out something like that? He waits for her to shout and yell at him in anger, but instead Nyx takes a deep breath and closes her eyes for a moment. When she opens her eyes again, she meets his gaze and replies, “My opinion can change.”

Nyx avoids him for a while after that outburst, instead choosing to spend more time with Fenarel. Days she would normally spend practicing her bow and dagger skills with Tamlen are spent with Fenarel. It isn’t that she doesn’t like Tamlen anymore—she could never! But the fact that he would bring up something she had told him in such confidence in a burst of...whatever that was, hurt her trust in him just a little. And she had to admit the change in company was nice. Fenarel has a completely different air to him than what she’s used to with Tamlen that she is surprised she never noticed before. He’s bold and confident and adventurous. Not that Tamlen isn’t those things as well, but his expression of it is just that much subtler. Where Fenarel is boisterous in his expression of himself, Tamlen prefers to not draw so much attention to himself.

When her relationship with Tamlen begins to mend itself with time, she doesn’t stop spending time with Fenarel. But now it’s to a different end. She cares deeply about Tamlen, but it’s been a year now since Fenarel has gotten his first full-sized kill and earned his vallaslin, and Tamlen is still babyfaced. Sometimes she finds it cute, but Ashalle has all but beaten it into her that whenever she should choose to bond, it needs to be with someone who is a responsible adult. And as deep as her bond with Tamlen may run, if he isn’t an adult in the eyes of the clan and their Keeper, she’s not sure she can commit.

So she spends time with Fenarel. And she surprises herself with how much she enjoys his company. They sneak out of the aravels at night to a clearing in the woods or an isolated river bank and spend hours together before coming back shortly before sun-up to get some sleep. Tamlen has been on nightwatch a few times when they return and tries to hide how forced his smile is when he sees them return arm in arm. Nyx doesn’t miss it in the slightest and every time wants to just grab him and shake him and say  _ “It could be you! I  _ want _ it to be you!” _ But instead she just returns his smile with one of her own and retires with Fenarel to the aravels.

***

Nyx is just shy of eighteen when the Keeper finally deems her adult enough to get her vallaslin. The night before she is set to have it applied, she is a bundle of nerves. Fenarel is unfortunately nowhere to be found, so she relies on Tamlen to help keep her calm. The pair of them stay up until the moon is high in the sky, talking about nothing to keep her mind off of the next day’s events.

When she wakes the next morning, Tamlen is already gone with the hunters for the day. She expects the same of Fenarel, but he meets her with a smile outside of the hunters’ aravel with breakfast and a smile.

“I hear you had an anxious night. How are you feeling this morning?” he asks.

She shrugs in response, rubbing the last bit of sleep from her eyes as she hops out of the aravel. “I’ll be fine. After all, if you were able to get  _ your _ vallaslin without any issue…”

He scoffs a bit at her implication. “No need to be rude, lethallan. And here I was all ready to walk you over to Marethari so you don’t start over thinking everything.”

“ _ Well _ . With an offer like that, how can I refuse?”

Nyx takes his arm with an impish grin and allows him to lead her to the Keeper’s aravel. Fenarel stops just outside and releases her arm. “This is where I leave you, then. Good luck. I’ll be waiting for you when you come out.”

His words are a comfort and she smiles before taking a breath and stepping into Marethari’s aravel.

The Keeper welcomes her in with a warm smile. Inks are carefully set out on a small table beside two seats Nyx can only assume are meant for her and the Keeper. She sits cross-legged on one, trying to steady her breathing. Marethari must notice it because she places a comforting hand on Nyx’s shoulder and says, “Relax, da’len. I would not have called you for this if I did not think you were ready.”

Nyx lets out a nervous chuckle and nods. “Of course, Keeper. I know I’m ready, I just worry about being able to make it all the way through.”

Her Keeper hums in response. She takes a basin of cool water and a washcloth and places it in front of her. “Wash.” She quickly does as she’s told and Marethari continues. “I won’t lie—it can be rather painful. But you’ve always been a strong girl. I’m more than confident that you can make it through. Now. I believe I have settled on a design for you, da’len.”

Nyx wrings the washcloth out and sets it aside. Marethari has laid out a simple version of what she believes are Ghilan’nain’s antlers. “Why not Andruil?” she asks, closing her eyes. “I am a hunter, after all.”

“True, but Ghilan’nain is the guide, among other things. And it was my understanding that you do most of the tracking for our hunters, yes?” She chuckles, checking that the needle is properly prepared before beginning to apply the ink to Nyx’s face. “You are the one who makes sure they come back to our clan safely.”

Nyx hums in acknowledgement, trying not to wince every time the needle makes contact with her skin. It feels like being poked with a tiny thorn over and over again, but she surprises herself with how well she is able to manage the pain. She has to bite her lip a few times to keep from letting out a whine.

“I remember how you used to get lost in the forest,” Marethari says with a fond smile. “Ashalle had to come find you more than once when you were a child because you had wandered off by yourself. I must say I’m very impressed with how much you’ve managed to improve your tracking skills since then. You’ve come a long way, da’len.”

Nyx smiles at the compliment, cracking an eye open to peer at her Keeper. Marethari is busying herself with preparing more inks. There unfortunately isn’t a mirror nearby for her to sneak a peek at her vallaslin, but she’s confident in her Keeper’s steady hand. She shuts her eyes when Marethari turns to face her again, needle in hand.

The rest of the application of her vallaslin passes in relative silence, save for an offhand comment from Marethari here and there. Once she has finished, she instructs Nyx to stay still while the ink finishes drying completely and goes to fetch an elfroot salve to keep the tattoo from scarring over too much. She returns a few moments later and gently begins dabbing it on. “How do you feel, da’len?”

“A bit sore. Can I see what it looks like?” She nods and hands Nyx a small hand mirror. Nyx is quiet as she looks over her vallaslin, skin still a touch red. A small smile comes to her face as she touches her forehead, gingerly tracing the spiraling antler design. “I can’t believe I made it through all that.”

Marethari laughs. “I told you it would be fine, did I not? I’m very proud of you. And I know your parents, Creators guide them, would be as well.”

Nyx beams at the compliment, hesitating a moment before leaning over to hug her Keeper tightly. “Ma serannas. Ah—I just have one thing to ask.” She waits a beat for Marethari’s nod for her to continue. “Will...will Tamlen be getting his vallaslin, soon? He’s the last one of us that still hasn’t gotten his yet…”

“In due time, da’len. He still needs to complete his own hunt. Perhaps you can give him some tips? Not to downplay your skills as a hunter, but I was quite surprised you completed it before him.”

“I...I suppose. Is that the only thing holding him back? Is there really nothing I can do to help him? I know he needs to complete his hunt on his own, but still…”

“It is as tradition dictates, da’len. You know that. Now go—I’m sure the other hunters will want to celebrate your getting vallaslin. Wouldn’t want to keep them waiting.”

Nyx gives a small nod and bows her head some to Marethari before leaving the aravel. She looks around for a moment for Fenarel, frowning when she can’t find him. Hadn’t he promised to be waiting for her when she was done? It hadn’t taken  _ that  _ long, had it?

“Looking for someone?”

“Fe-! Oh.” Nyx smiles slightly at Tamlen as she turns to face him. “Hi Tam.”

He feigns offense at her less than enthusiastic greeting. “And here I thought you’d be happy to see me!”

“No, sorry—I am. I just...Fenarel promised he’d be waiting for me after I was done with...all this.” She gestures to her face. “How do I look by the way?”

“Stunning.” Tamlen leads her back to the hunters’ aravels, keeping in step behind her. “I was almost certain you’d be getting Andruil. But Ghilan’nain makes sense. And the antlers suit you.”

“Flatterer.”

“You want me to stop?”

“Oh, no. By all means—please continue.”

Tamlen laughs; a distinctly sunny-feeling sound that she has grown to love hearing over the years. It brings a smile to her face and makes her temporarily forget about Fenarel’s broken promise. Tamlen suddenly takes her by the waist, dramatically dipping her back. “Oh but lethallan, I could write poems about you that would make the greatest bards envious!”

Nyx snorts and covers a hand over her face to hide her blush. “If I didn’t know you couldn’t write, I might actually believe that you silly boy.”


	5. Don't Think Twice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nyx and Tamlen finally come to terms with their feelings for each other. Finally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew this chapter has been a long time coming. So uh...here's a New Year's present? Sorry this took so long to get out! The holidays hit fast & hard & I had some issues with figuring out who was going to be editing this chapter for me. Fortunately that has now been sorted out and the next chapter should be coming soon! Thank you guys so much for your patience and I hope you enjoy! c:
> 
> beta credit for this chapter goes to my lovely partner Dante who looked at this for me even while they were halfway across the globe.

Nyx aimlessly twangs the string of her bow, staring into the dark distance as she waits for her turn to take patrol. The soft sound of crickets combined with the barely there light of the moon are making it a struggle to stay awake. On top of that, everything is only made worse by the glacial rift that has settled between her and her partner for the night– Fenarel.

He doesn’t say a word to her, pointedly looking at the dirt under his feet rather than at her face. The passion that had been there at the start of their relationship has chilled  since she had gotten her vallaslin and with the onset of winter. She knows she has no obligation to him, but the thought that maybe this is somehow her fault still eats away at her. Nyx glances toward him again, and still he doesn’t meet her eyes. Her lips twist down into a disappointed frown and just when she is about to snap at him, Junar’s voice rings out from the dark.

“We’re back!”

Her head snaps up and she’s back to being fully alert. Nyx greets him with a smile, trying to keep her gaze neutral. Tamlen is a few steps behind his watch partner and lifts a hand in greeting. “Next watch should be coming soon,” he says. Before he can say much else, she has already sprung to her feet, bow slung across her back.

“Let’s go then, Fenarel. These two can hold down the camp till next watch comes.” She ignores the puzzled look Tamlen gives her and motions for her partner to hurry up and follow her. “We’ll see you two later– dareth shiral.”

Nyx starts up a brisk pace into the surrounding forest, Fenarel a few steps behind her. He stays relatively silent save for the sound of his footfalls which only serve to punctuate the uncomfortable silence. Once she has determined they are out of earshot of their clanmates, she speaks up. “So are we going to talk about what’s going on with us?”

Fenarel finally meets her eyes. “Not sure what there is to talk about, lethallan. I was under the impression there wasn’t anything going on.”

She purses her lips at his response. Of course he is going to be dodgy about this. “You’ve hardly been talking to me. Are you really  _ that  _ mad that I’ve been spending more time with Tamlen? He’s been my best friend since we were kids.”

“I’m hardly mad, Nyx. Who am I to stop you from spending time with someone you so obviously care so much for? And we’re not bonded nor have we ever even talked about it. You have no obligation to me.”

Nyx can sense the hurt in his voice,the sting of his words and the sharpness of his tone, but she reminds herself that this is not on her. She takes a steadying breath and pushes on. “You’re upset. I get it. But  _ you _ are the one who can’t even seem to keep a simple promise these days. You said you would be waiting for me after I got my vallaslin, and you were nowhere to be found.  _ And _ you’re the one who keeps flitting off to Merrill when you know I don’t like her and why.”

“What do you want me to say, Nyx? That I’ve realized we want different things? I’m no fool- I know your interest in me only started because I was first to get my vallaslin.” She opens her mouth to defend herself, but finds herself swiftly silenced as he holds a hand up and presses on. “Anyone with eyes knows how you feel about Tamlen  _ except  _ Tamlen. And yes, perhaps I shouldn’t have let this carry on as long as it did, but maybe there was some selfish part of me that hoped if you spent enough time with me, you might develop actual feelings for me. But I see that hasn’t been the case.”

Okay. So maybe this  _ was  _ a little on her.

“Why not just ask me as much, then? Clearly this has been weighing on you for some time. I would have appreciated that over the cold shoulder you’ve been giving me.” She frowns, arms crossed and looking away from him as she speaks.

Fenarel sighs and gives her an apologetic smile. “I suppose I didn’t know how to approach it. And as I said before- I was being selfish.”

The silence that falls between them now is nowhere near as awkward and uncomfortable as it has been before. She still isn’t sure if she believes that he’s not upset, but Nyx doesn’t press him. “So...does that mean things are okay between us?” she asks with a small voice. “Like…you won’t be upset if I say I want to pursue a relationship with Tamlen?”

His smile is a touch sad, but he nods. “Of course, lethallan. I’ll admit that I’m a little sad things turned out this way, but it wouldn’t be right to keep you from someone that obviously makes you so happy.”

***

After receiving Fenarel’s ‘blessing’, it feels like a huge weight is lifted from Nyx’s shoulders. A smile comes easier to her now, and even Ashalle can see the change in her demeanor. Yet somehow, as glad as she is that their break was a clean one, she finds herself having trouble pursuing the relationship she actually wants. Suddenly Nyx is shy around Tamlen when they are alone. He doesn’t seem to notice it when she starts to mumble more around him and keep herself just a little more closed off. Tamlen is still his relaxed normal self around her, completely oblivious. He does ask her once about Fenarel, but when she says in not so many words that her interest in him has waned, he doesn’t ask for an explanation.

“...can’t get my parents to leave it be. Does Ashalle do that too?”

“Hm?”

Nyx blinks a little as she comes back to herself. The awareness returns of  a knife in her right hand, half wedged into a rabbit she is supposed to be skinning. She looks down at it, then back to Tamlen with an apologetic smile. “Sorry. I...wasn’t listening.”

He chuckles when her face turns red. “I was just talking about my mother. She keeps pestering me about getting bonded soon.” He clicks his tongue in annoyance. “I told her I just haven’t really thought about it. Maybe I’ll meet someone at the next Arlathvhen. And then she said that was too far off and threatened to arrange something with someone in the clan.”

“You...want to bond outside the clan?” She raises an eyebrow at that. He had always been somewhat of a homebody. The last time they had been to an Arlathvhen, as far as Nyx could recall, he had stuck close to their clan’s encampment and not bothered much talking to the other clans. “Really?”

“I mean...if someone caught my attention, I suppose.” He shrugs. “There’s one person that I- eh...nevermind.”

“Oh come on!” She pauses for a moment to work her knife out of the dead rabbit and jabs it into the ground beside her so it won’t get lost. “You know you can tell me anything! It’s not Merrill though, is it? ‘Cause I don’t think I would be able to forgive you–!”

“I can’t believe you’re still hanging onto that,” he says, steering the conversation away from himself with a teasing smile. “She hasn’t even done anything to you. I think she genuinely wants to be your friend, you know.”

Nyx waves a dismissive hand. “We have been over this many,  _ many _ times before, Tam. You know very well why I don’t like her or her presence in the clan.”

“Yeah but–”

“But nothing! We’re not talking about me, anyway. Stop trying to distract me. I’ve known you for too long to fall for your tricks, Tamlen Sabrae.”

Tamlen has to laugh when she breaks out his full name, eyes glittering in amusement. “You sound like my mother,” he teases. “Next thing you know I’ll be getting scolded by both of you!”

She turns beet red at that, punching him none too gently in the arm. “You’re so frustrating! I just wanted to have a conversation with you about bonding outside of the clan. Why can’t you take anything seriously?”

“Hey– ow! Alright, alright! I’m sorry! Ir abelas, lethallan! Sheesh. ...you’re just awfully cute when you get frustrated. It’s endearing.”

“You...you watch your mouth, mister!”

“Oh yeah? Or what?”

“Or I’ll...I’ll…!”

Oh.

Nyx finally notices just how in his face she has gotten while the two of them playfully bickered back and forth. Their noses are only a few inches apart. Any remaining blood that had not previously colored her cheeks rushes there now. She doesn’t miss the impish grin that comes to his face when he takes notice of that fact and prods her gently.

“Fen’harel take your tongue, Nyx?”

She draws back quickly and turns her head, cheeks puffed out and pouting. “Shut up.”

“Aw, you know I’m just teasing.” He shifts closer to her and places a hand on her arm. “I didn’t realize you were so invested in who I wanted to maybe bond with. You have to admit that you were pretty wrapped up with Fenarel for a while there–”

“I don’t want to talk about him right now. I just.” She pauses, lips pursed in thought. “Can we go for a walk?”

He raises an eyebrow at that. They’re already on the outskirts of the camp- what reason would she have for them to go farther out? Nonetheless, he nods his agreement and motions for her to lead.

“You know Ashalle is going to get mad at you for leaving your kills only half way dealt with, right?”

Nyx waves a dismissive hand. “It’s not that bad. I don’t even have it all the way skinned and it’s not that hot either.”

“Sooo...why do you want to go on a walk? Something on your mind?”

“I...guess? I don’t know. Can I ask why you were so, um...worried about me being with Fenarel before? And then just now you made it sound like I was still pining after him or something–”

“I...well. I don’t know. I mean- I know  _ you _ . And I didn’t think it would really work out with you two, you know? I mean- he was all excited to get his vallaslin first and start training under our lead hunter…”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“Oh come on Nyx.” He gives her a sidelong glance, disbelief evident on his features. “I know you’re not totally lost with what I’m saying here, right? He wanted to find someone to bond with and start a family and all that.”

“So?”

“Wh– are you saying you would have gone for all that? No offense or anything, but I can’t see you staying at the camp all the time to take care of a screaming baby.”

“Who says I’d have to be stuck at camp? It’s not like I’d suddenly lose my status as a hunter.”

“Wouldn’t you, though?”

Her lips turn down into a scowl. It almost sounds like Tamlen is being contrary just to get on her nerves. Nyx folds her arms tight over her chest, stopping to look him in the eye. She doesn’t see any ill intent on his face, but she still can’t help but feel annoyed at his implication. It’s not  _ that _ out of the ordinary, is it? Having to take care of a child on top of her duties as a hunter...she could definitely see herself doing both if it ever came up. He just didn’t know what he was talking about.

Tamlen is quiet as she sizes him up. Okay, maybe he shouldn’t have been so aggressive in what he was saying, but Nyx? Staying put all the time to be a mother? He just couldn’t see it– she was too much of a free spirit. How many times had they gone on their ‘adventures’ only to return later and get in trouble for doing this or that?

“I just...Nyx, look, I  _ know _ you. You can’t seriously tell me you would have dropped everything for him like that, would you?”

“...maybe not for him.”

She looks down at the lines of the wrapped leather strips that protect her feet from sticks and rocks in the ground. She absently traces a line in the dirt with her bare toes. Nyx can feel his puzzled look on her, trying to figure out what she’s trying to get at.

Tamlen takes a few steps closer to her and tilts her chin up to look at him again. “Nyx...what did you really want to talk about? We don’t just take walks to take walks. Last time we did this you were complaining at me that you thought Fenarel was mooning over Merrill too much.”

“Because he was!” she says defensively. “But. Ugh. Okay, that’s not what you were asking. I...look, if I say I just wanted to spend some time with you away from the clan would you believe me?”

“Maybe. But that’s not the only thing, is it? C’mon. You’ve been acting weird since you basically broke things off with Fenarel. You’re not acting like yourself. You know you can tell me anything, lethallan.”

He’s so sincere when he speaks that his tone alone makes her falter. But no. She needs to say...something to him. Nyx is certain that he must share in her feelings at least a little bit. Why else would be bother putting up with her when she was acting like this?

“I. Okay. I talked to Fenarel about...if we were going to be okay after we broke things off–”

“Mhmm. That’s part of why I thought it might be a good idea to bond outside the clan.”

“Shh! I’m not done!”

“Er, right. Sorry.”

“ _ Anyways _ . We talked and...he said he could tell that there was someone else that I would be happier with. And that he was upset about it, but he wasn’t gonna stop me or whatever…”

“Creators. I would certainly hope not.”

“ _ Tamlen. _ ”

“Sorry.”

“So obviously I’m still friends with him and everything but I just. When you realize you actually  _ want _ to be with someone, it’s really hard to actually tell them that. Did you know that? I didn’t. And then I find out that the person I was hoping for is looking elsewhere--”

“Nyx?”

“I– what?”

“I think I know what you’re getting at.”

Before she can even think to respond, Tamlen pulls her close and kisses her. Her eyes flutter shut; surprised but certainly not upset. The feeling that floods to her must be liquid sunshine because never has she felt more warm and happy and safe than in this instant. When he pulls away, Nyx takes a moment to let herself drown in his sky blue eyes. The world has fallen away around them and then he  _ is _ her world.

She floats back down to reality in his arms, not realizing how flushed her cheeks are until Tamlen points it out with a chuckle. Her eyes go wide with embarrassment as her hands fly to her face in an attempt to cover her cheeks.

“So. I take it I wasn’t that far off?”

“No. I suppose not.”

Her hands slowly fall back to her sides. She leans into Tamlen’s chest enjoying the security she feels just from being with him. They stay like that for a few moments before he nudges Nyx gently and nods toward their camp.

“We should get back before Ashalle starts looking for us. Or worse, Marethari.”

“Ah- yeah. Hopefully the rabbit I left out hasn’t attracted any wolves…”

***

As much as Nyx and Tamlen try to keep their relationship a secret, it’s hidden from none in the camp. Her fellow hunters tease the two of them every time she and Tamlen pair up for a hunt or patrol while pretending to not know what’s going on between them.

If Marethari or Ashalle or even Tamlen’s parents know, they make no big show of it. More than once, Nyx catches her guardian watching them with a fond smile while the pair of them share a meal by the fire. She’s fairly certain that Ashalle has an inkling at the very least but it choosing not to make a big deal out of it.

At least not yet.

When Nyx turns 21, the hunters have a raucous celebration for her. Fenarel and Junar break into the stash of honey wine and mead and get every single one of the hunters absolutely sloshed by the end of the night. Tamlen drunkenly suggests the go find a shemlen from the village near their camp and force them into a game of Fen’Harel’s Teeth-- some torturous game he had heard about from some other clan (Viren? Virnehn? She doesn’t remember.) they had crossed paths with. She scoffs at the idea. She may like getting into a little trouble now and then with him, but the game he suggests is a little extreme even for her. “The shemlen in this area haven’t even done anything to warrant something that cruel.”

“Aw, it was a joke, Nyx!” Tamlen doesn’t press any harder however, when he sees the stern look that Nyx is giving him. Her brown eyes are narrowed warningly at him, issuing a silent admonition. 

“I dunno, Nyx...what about that time some shemlen stole from us?” Junar pipes up. “They took a good chunk of Varathorn’s good ironbark! And then he had all the hunters out looking for it while we were supposed to be doing patrols!”

Junar’s comment starts everyone on trying to one-up each other with stories of terrible things the shemlen has done to their clan. Nyx shakes her head but doesn’t bother trying to stop them. She’s pretty sure that at this point most of them are too drunk to remember why they are recounting all these terrible things in the first place.

Their night eventually winds down as her clan mates one by one bid her goodnight and wander back to their aravels. Eventually, only she and Tamlen remain huddled close to the dying bonfire. Nyx stifles a yawn as she rises on unsteady feet. Tamlen follows suit, offering his arm out for her to steady herself on. When she attempts to do so, Nyx winds up stumbling over herself and falling into his side, nearly sending both of them to the ground in the process.

Perhaps she had a little  _ too _ much to drink.

Tamlen smiles; a goofy, drunk grin that makes her laugh. It only makes him grin wider as he struggles to help keep her on her feet. His attempt fails due to his own inebriated state and they wind up crashing to the ground anyway.

She laughs more and buries her face in his neck, holding him tight. “Ma ser’nas. You’re such a good cushion, Tam.”

“I live to please.” He winks and pushes himself upright. It has Nyx sitting suddenly lopsided in his lap. “But unfortunately we can’t stay out here.”

“Well...we  _ could _ .”

“Nyx.”

She lets out a dramatic sigh but doesn’t protest further. As she clambers back to her feet, she has to brace herself against a nearby tree to stop herself from stumbling to the ground yet again. Tamlen lets out a noise halfway between a snort and a snicker as he gets to his feet himself. “Well...happy birthday, Nyx. I, uh, have something for you.”

She raises an eyebrow at that. “I thought this little party was your doing? I don’t need really need anything else.”

He waves his hand. “Just. Trust me on this, okay? I just. I needed to wait for the right time to give it to you. Now where is it…”

“The right time to give it to me is when I’m drunk and might not even remember in the morning?”

“That’s not what I- just hush. I can’t- oh where is it?? I can’t see anything...”

“What does noise have to do wi—ow!”

Nyx jerks her foot up from the ground, a frown on her face. She bends down to see what she had stepped on. Most of the ground around their camp should have been cleared of debris by now.

“Hm? Oh. Fenedhis.”

Tamlen watches as she picks up an ironbark ring from the ground. His stomach flips and flops as he waits for any reaction from her. It takes a while for her to process anything in her inebriated state, but eventually Nyx looks to him and holds the ring out to him.

“Drop this?”

He bursts out laughing at that, relief washing over him. He struggles to find his words for a moment, but when he calms down, he shakes his head and pushes the ring back toward her. “That’s your present, lethallan.”

“...what?”

Okay, maybe he should have figured it wouldn’t immediately process with her. He takes a breath and smiles fondly, taking the ring from her. “I...look. You know I care about you very much, right?” A nod. He continues. “I...well I wanted to get you something that could show that. This, ah, this ring was my mother’s. She gave it to me a while back and said I should give it to a nice girl that I thought I wanted to...you know. Bond with. Eventually.”

Understanding finally clicks in Nyx’s eyes as they go wide with disbelief. “Wh- bond? Me? Us?? Tamlen, I—!!”

“I’m not trying to give it to you to make you commit to anything right now!!” he says hurriedly. “I just. I mean. I’d maybe like to one day but. Think of it more as...a token of my affection. Something to remind you that I. Um. You know.”

She blinks, head tilted. He finds it adorably clueless. “That you what?” she asks.

He groans, hiding his face in his hands. “C’mon Nyx. I  _ know _ you know what I’m trying to say!”

“I really don’t!” she says with a laugh. And she’s telling the truth. She maybe has a hint of what it might be, but she certainly doesn’t want to get her hopes up.

“That I-! Nnn...I…” Tamlen grabs her by the shoulders, looking Nyx in the eye. “Creators above, Nyx.  _ I love you. _ ”

She immediately goes pink and averts her eyes. “Ah. I...thought maybe you were gonna say that,” she finally admits. “I just. I didn’t want to get my hopes up too much.”

Tamlen raises an eyebrow. This certainly isn’t the reaction he had expected. The Nyx he’s used to is loud and boisterous and overly confident in herself. Sure she had been a bit shy at the start of their relationship, but this is a side he’s certain he has never seen before. “I...really? I thought it was obvious how I felt about you. I mean...Nyx we’ve been friends for ages.”

“No! No, I know that. I just.” She purses her lips and furrows her brow as she tries to choose her next words. “Okay. So. When I was still with Fenarel, I knew you weren’t happy about it, right? But...you never did anything about it. So I thought you just wanted to stay friends or something.”

“I...okay, I guess I can’t really blame you for thinking that,” he admits. “I wanted to do something, but you seemed pretty happy with him, honestly. All the stuff I said before about thinking you two weren’t a good match...I mean it was true, but it seemed like you wouldn’t care too much about that. You were happy and that’s what was most important to me.”

“Oh Creators…” Nyx brings her hands to her cheeks, a shy smile on her face. “That’s really sweet, Tamlen. I...you’re too much, you know?”

He chuckles softly and offers the ring back out to her. “So...what do you say?”

“I say...I think it’s a lovely gift.”

Nyx holds her hand out for him, watching quietly as he takes her hand and slips the lovingly crafted ironbark ring onto her finger. It fits like it was made for her, even if she knows that isn’t the case. She looks up at Tamlen with all the love in the world and brings her hand to her chest, touching the ring gently with her other hand.

“Ar lath ma, Tamlen.”

“Ar lath ma, Nyx.”

 


	6. Unbreakable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unbreakable connection is tested.

The Arlathvhen is in full swing today. Nyx sits with her friend by the main encampment, carefully whittling designs into her bow. Behind them, all the attending clans have broken into different groups to talk and catch up or prep for that night’s dinner. “Ugh. I’m so jealous,” Melana says.

“You were making fun of me two seconds ago,” she points out.

“Yeah, but that was  _ because _ I was jealous.” She takes Nyx’s hand again, inspecting the ironbark ring on her finger. Intricate designs of leaves and vines wind around it. As old as it is supposed to be, the designs haven’t faded or been rubbed out in the slightest. “You said it was his mom’s?”

“Mhm.” Nyx pulls her hand back from Melana’s hold and looks dreamily at it. “I still can’t believe it. I mean. I know he gave it to me a few years ago now, but it’s just. I don’t know. It was so sweet of him. Creators, I love him.”

Melana makes a gagging sound beside her only to get smacked for her actions. “Yeah. I know Everyone knows, lethallan. People that aren’t even in your clan know that. Creators, I’m pretty sure even the shemlen you pass on the road must know! How are you two  _ still _ not bonded?”

Nyx turns a barely noticeable shade darker, shoulders hunching up as she looks away. “I mean. I don’t know? We just haven’t felt like we needed to yet, I suppose.”

Melana purses her lips. “Ashalle isn’t going to wait forever for mini-yous to start running around, you know.” She grins when Nyx can’t come up with a response and flushes darker. “What? Don’t tell me you haven’t at least thought about it a little.” She nudges her gently, grinning wider and wider as she does.

Nyx huffs and shoves her away with a pout. Of  _ course _ she has thought about it a little, but Melana doesn’t need to know everything. But she can tell her lack of response is only solidifying her friend’s suspicions and so she relents, but not without an over-exaggerated roll of her eyes.

“Okay,  _ fine. _ Maybe I’ve thought about having a family and all that a little bit. But so what? It’s not like the clan is lacking in members or anything.”

“Still. You never know what might happen, right? At the very least you should talk to him about it. He’s not the brightest, and he’s certainly not a mind reader.”

Nyx scoffs at that, but can’t really fault her for her words. How many times has she gotten Tamlen out of trouble now for doing something he didn’t think through all the way? Instead, she just shakes her head at Melana. “You shouldn’t say such mean things, Mel.”

“What can I say? I learned it from you.”

Melana opens her mouth to respond, but the voice of the attending Keepers draw their attention and cuts their conversation short. Nyx waves her friend off as she returns to her clan and makes her way back to her own. It takes all of two seconds for Tamlen to spot her, giving her a warm smile as she approaches.

“I see you got to catch up with Melana?”

His hand slips effortlessly into hers, his thumb brushing against her ring. She nods, leaning into his side. “She was asking about you.”

“Of course she was. What did you tell her? Or, well, actually, what did she ask?”

“Why we weren’t bonded. If we were ever planning on having kids. You know.”

“Yeah– wait, what?”

“What?”

Nyx looks up at him, the picture of clueless innocence- but he sees right through it. It’s not hard to tell when she’s doing this in an attempt to slip something past him. Tamlen gives her a look and she shifts a little under his gaze. “What did you say? Something about...kids?”

“I…” She sighs in defeat. “Yeah. Melana just. Asked if I was thinking about kids.”

“And…? What did you say?” he prods. The curiosity is evident on his face; she’s not sure how she feels about him being so eager.

“I...well I said yes. She said I should talk to you about it. But we don’t have to do that right now!” Nyx says hurriedly. The expression on his face changes, and she’s not sure if it’s a good thing or not. “Um. I’m hungry. Let’s just go get some food, okay? I think I smell deer–!”

“Nyx, wait!” Tamlen holds her hand a little tighter, keeping her from running off too quickly. She looks a little panicked when he stops her. He cups her cheek and gives her a reassuring smile. “If we’re going to bond some day it might not be...too bad to talk about.”

Nyx relaxes some and leans up to peck his cheek. “I...okay. Thank you, Tam. I wasn’t really sure how you were going to react,” she murmurs. “But, um. We can talk about it later, yeah? I really am hungry.”

He laughs softly and nods, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. “Of course, vhenan.”

***

“Nyx- go check on Tamlen, will you?”

She looks up from her task at the sound of her name, nearly snapping a dagger hilt in surprise. From beside her, Master Ilen makes a disappointed noise but nods and motions for her to go ahead. “I can finish up here, lethallan. If he’s in any trouble, we know you’re the only one who can actually convince him to stop.”

Nyx chuckles as she rises to her feet. “I don’t know, Ilen. He’s gotten more stubborn. Can’t imagine where that’s come from. That insatiable curiosity of his is going to be the death of him, I swear.”

“Then go save him from himself,” he says with a laugh. “And you keep yourself out of trouble as well.”

She waves, approaching Marethari before she departs. “Is Tamlen just out on patrol, Keeper?”

“He is. I’m hoping he didn’t stray too far. And please–if he ran into any shemlen, don’t do anything to aggravate them.”

“Now why would I  _ ever _ do that?” Nyx bats her eyes innocently, ignoring the exasperated look it earns her as she sets off for the patrol route.

It takes a little time, but she eventually finds Tamlen crouched low, carefully taking clippings of elfroot. He doesn’t seem to take notice of her until she’s right behind him. He jolts in surprise when Nyx clears her throat to catch his attention and falls backward. Tamlen gives her a sheepish smile, offering the elfroot up to her. “For you, lethallan.”

She lets out a sigh, shaking her head at him. “You’re ridiculous,” she says. “Marethari wanted me to come out and check on you. How’s the patrol going?”

“Boring. You gonna stay with me for the rest of it?”

“May as well. Don’t have too much better to do.”

The pair of them continue Tamlen’s patrol in a comfortable silence. Nyx is happy to just enjoy his company like this. As of late, they have spent less time together due to the clan’s recent return to Ferelden. She glances toward him and smiles, offering her hand out to him. He takes it and gives her hand a gentle squeeze. “Something on your mind?”

“Not particularly. I just...we haven’t had too much time to spend together, that’s all.”

“You still get to see me, Nyx. Not like I’ve gone anywhere.”

“Well  _ yeah _ , but that’s not what I mean–”

Anything else she has to say dies on her tongue when a small group of humans comes stumbling out of the forest in front of them. She lets out a surprised gasp and quickly draws her bow, Tamlen quickly following suit. Gone is his usually laid back demeanor as he nocks an arrow and aims it at the first human he sees. “Where do you think you’re going?” he demands. “What are you doing this deep in the forest?”

“I–! We–!”

Nyx nocks an arrow as well, eyes narrowed at the shemlen. “Answer him!”

“We came out here ‘cause we heard there were ruins out here!” one of the shemlen finally say.

“Lies!” Tamlen snaps, taking a step closer. “Our clan always comes to this area and we’ve never heard of or seen any ruins.”

“We swear we’re telling the truth! We didn’t even know there were any elves camped out here!”

Nyx glances at Tamlen, unconvinced of their words. “What do you think?”

“I was about to ask you the same thing, lethallan. I really doubt these shemlen would be able to find ruins in this area that we don’t know about.”

“It’s true!” another shemlen protests. “Th-the ruins are just back the way we came. Set back into the mountain! We don’t have any reason to be lying to you.”

“You also don’t have any reason to be out here,” Nyx snarls. “You don’t think we can just let go now that you know where our clan is camped, do you? You shemlen are always bad news for us.”

“We won’t tell anyone that you’re out here. Honest!”

She scoffs at that, rolling her eyes. “Don’t even start,” Tamlen says, sneering at them. “Well? What do you think we should do with them, lethallan?”

Nyx is quiet for a moment before she lowers her bow. The reassurance that the humans should be feeling when she lowers her weapon doesn’t come. Instead, a malicious smile has come to her face. “Just one of them. The other two can take that back as a message,” she purrs. “I think that’s more than generous, don’t you?”

The group of humans start to run before she’s even done talking. Tamlen looses an arrow with terrifying accuracy, lodging it square in the back of one of the fleeing humans. They collapse in a heap and the other two humans pick up their pace when they hear him fall. “You sure you don’t want me to take care of the other two? I can still get them.”

“Leave them,” she says, strapping her bow back into place. “Marethari will just get upset if she finds out we killed more of them than necessary.”

“One might argue that killing  _ one _ of them was too much,” he teases. Tamlen nudges her playfully and glances to the area the humans had come out of. “Do...do you think maybe we should check what they said about the ruins? If they’re really there, the Keeper would probably want to know.”

“ _ Tamlen… _ ”

“What? If we  _ do _ find ruins and we bring it back to the Keeper, she’ll be thrilled!”

Nyx sighs defeatedly, throwing her hands up. “Fine. We’ll go take a look. But we only go as far as I say.”

“Sure, sure.” He laughs, waving a dismissive hand. “Creators, Nyx. Where’s your sense of adventure? You used to love wandering the forest with me.”

She makes a noise of protest, but doesn’t say much beyond that as she follows Tamlen into the forest. As they walk, the trees grow thicker and thicker until sunlight is only barely streaming through the branches. Nyx frowns, glancing at the dirt floor of the woods. They’re definitely still following the correct path–they’re much fainter now, but the footprints left by the humans they had intercepted earlier are still leading them.

“You would think we’d have found those ruins by now. Maybe we should head back to the clan.”

“I...Nyx, come on. Just a little further? We must be close. I can feel it.”

Tamlen looks at her pleadingly and she has no choice but to relent. Nyx smiles fondly at him and jogs up beside him. “You’re lucky it’s me and not someone else that came to find you, lethallin.”

“Believe me, I know. Ah–wait, I think I see something–”

He hurries forward excitedly and moves some brush aside to reveal the opening to what at first glance looks just like a cave. But as they draw closer, it has the distinct features of what must be a crumbling archway. Tamlen’s eyes go wide with excitement as he motions her over. “Let’s take a look!”

“I...Tam, no. We found the ruins. Let’s just go back and tell the Keeper what we found.” Something is wrong about all this, but Nyx can’t quite put her finger on it. As she looks on at the entrance of the ruins, the forest around them goes still. The chirping of birds and cicadas has stopped; not even the wind seems to rustle the trees now.

“Yeah, but don’t you want to see what’s inside?” He tugs her hand gently, trying to lead her closer to the ruins. “I promise we’ll be quick. Plus, you have your daggers and your bow on you already. If we run into any trouble we’ll be fine!”

“Tamlen, please. I really don’t think this is a good idea.”

“Lethallan...I promise we’ll be okay.” He lifts a hand and strokes her cheek affectionately. “We’ll be in and out. I promise.”

She sighs, leaning into his hand. She has to admit that doing this  _ is _ a little exciting. It reminds her of the time they spent together when they were younger. “Okay, fine. We can go.”

Tamlen whoops triumphantly, a wide grin on his face. She follows him into the ruins a bit hesitantly. An odd feeling washes over Nyx as they enter, but it doesn’t seem to bother him in the slightest. Here and there a few overgrown spiders crawl out of the ruins, but nothing either of them can’t make quick work of.

As she looks up from wiping her blades off on her leathers, she catches the slightly uneasy look on Tamlen’s face. They’re fairly deep into the ruins now with nothing to show for it. “Something on your mind?”

“I...it’s just. It’s odd in here, isn’t it? I don’t think anyone’s been in here in ages…”

“Yeah, it doesn’t seem like it. There’s cobwebs everywhere. But that’s not the only thing on your mind, is it? You need to talk?”

“I guess. Why’d you stay out on patrol with me anyway? I thought you were supposed to be helping out Master Ilen?”

“Like I said earlier–Marethari wanted me to come check on you. So I jumped at the chance. You know I’d rather be with you.”

“Heh...that’s kind of what I thought. I’m glad.” He relaxes some as they talk, continuing to lead the way through the ruins. As they meander down a dilapidated hallway, Nyx comes to a sudden stop in front of a statue. It’s full of cracks and chipped to hell, but she definitely recognizes it as a some sort of Elven god.

“Wait–Tam, look at this. This is one of the Pantheon, isn’t it? I can’t tell who it’s supposed to be.”

“Hm?” Tamlen stops beside her, head tilted as he scrutinizes the sculpture. “Oh...it looks like it might be...Dirthamen? Look there–at the bottom–the birds could be his ravens.” He kneels and squints a bit at the engravings at the base of the statue. “This looks like...written Elvish. Creators, this really must be ancient.”

“But these don’t look like Elven ruins at all. Remember when we came across them in Orlais? These look more like human ruins…”

“Odd. We’ll have to mention that to the Keeper later.”

“Why don’t we just go back now?” She doesn’t want to beg, but the ruins are making her feel more and more uneasy. The ruins seem like they have been left undisturbed for ages–to the point that doing anything to upset the balance that has settled over them will result in something terrible.

Tamlen clicks his tongue at that. “When we’ve already come so far? We might as well just keep going. Come on, Nyx. We haven’t encountered anything worse than spiders. Are you afraid, or something?” he teases.

Nyx scoffs at the thought. “Of course not! I’m just worried about you getting into something you can’t get out of, is all.”

“You worry too much, Nyx. Come on. I know you’re having more fun than you’re letting on. And you can’t tell me you weren’t excited when you found that statue.”

“I...well yeah, but–!”

“Come on, just one more room and then we can go back, okay? I promise. I’m almost certain we’re near the exit anyway.”

She doesn’t bother trying to argue with him. There’s already a room up ahead, so she hopes he’ll stick to his word and they’ll be done once they investigate. But as they draw closer, there’s a loud rumble from behind the door. She stiffens and grips her daggers tightly. It doesn’t sound like a spider. Or anything they’ve ever encountered before.

“...y-you heard that too, right?”

Tamlen is trying to hide the anxious look on his face, but she nods quietly in response. “That almost sounded like...a bear? But what would one be doing all the way in here?”

“I don’t know, but maybe we should go. What if it’s something worse? I still think we should go back to and tell the Keeper,” Nyx says. “I only have a few bottles of elfroot potion on me.”

“We’ve made it this far. I’m...I’m sure we’ll be fine. And I know you have my back. You’re the best hunter the clan has C’mon, Nyx. Let’s just open the door and...deal with it.”

She opens her mouth to protest, but before she can say anything, Tamlen has shoved open the door. He yelps in surprise as something that...resembles a bear comes charging out of the room. Nyx is frozen in shock for a moment, eyes wide. The beast has spikes protruding from its back and what look like two sets of tusks protruding from its mouth. It snarls and spits violently at them before moving to swipe at her.

“Nyx!”

Tamlen dives toward her and shoves her out of the way, hissing in pain as a claw grazes his back. She lands hard, but it’s enough to snap her out of her daze. “Nyx, are you okay?”

“Y-yeah, I’m fine.”

She gets to her feet quickly and draws her blades, preparing to face down the beast. She fights back to back with him, the pair of them a whirl of blades. The bear-beast comes at them again and again, until finally they manage to dispatch it completely. Nyx wrinkles her nose some at the black blood that oozes from it. She prods it lightly with the tip of a blade, ready to strike if it lunges again. When it doesn’t she lets out a relieved sigh and sheaths her daggers.

“Tamlen...we need to head back. There might be more of these things hiding in– Tamlen?”

Too late. He has already made his way into the room the creature had come out of. She lets out an exasperated sigh and runs in after him. “Tamlen! What in the name of the Creators are you doing? We need to  _ go _ .”

“Wait, wait. Just...slow down a second.”

Tamlen is standing in front of a huge mirror in the center of the room. He looks up at it in awe, almost hypnotized by it. “I...I swear I saw something move. Look! Just there!”

“Tamlen! Stop it. There’s nothing there,” she begs, desperation in her voice. Her heart is beating in her ears as she speaks. This isn’t right. Nothing about this is right. “We...we need to go back to the camp. Please…” 

“But look at this! Nyx...this...this is an incredible discovery!”

“I...yeah, it  _ is _ , but we should go back to the Keeper and tell her! This thing...it could be dangerous. Vhenan, please…”

“Shh...I...I hear something. It’s calling me…”

She reaches for his arm to pull him back from the mirror, but it’s too little, too late. Tamlen reaches a hand slowly out to the mirror. Nyx grabs his other hand just as his fingers brush the surface of the mirror and then–

Bright. 

An otherworldly force throws her back and she hits the wall. And then…

Nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! This is going to be the last chapter for a little while. KH3 is coming out soon and I'm gonna be pretty much useless until 1) it comes out and 2) I actually get to play it. I *have* begun working on the next chapter and I will try to have it out as soon as possible! Thanks for your patience <3
> 
> beta credit for this chapter goes to my lovely partner, Dante.


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